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femmie
Last Activity:
Dec 14, 2015
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Gender:
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Spain
Occupation:
lawyer

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femmie

New Member, Female, from Spain

I am at day 7. And I think I felt moments that the pain was less because of the journalling. Anyone else same experience? Oct 3, 2015

femmie was last seen:
Dec 14, 2015
  • My Story

    It actually started when I was in my early twenties. One day I woke up with enormous pain in my right arm. I couldn't move it. After a couple of days being in pain and in panic, my left arm joined the party. I was now completely dependent on others for doing simple tasks as washing the dishes, but more important, my job was in danger. I couldn't touch the keyboard without enormous pain. I felt so stupid and dependent. Doctor diagnosed me with RSI and I couldn't work full time.
    So. Looking back it was probably because I had just finished my studies (law) and I felt helpless. What if I couldn't make my own money? (a safety/security issue). Eventually I got rid of the pains (in my whole body by then) by taking an anti-anxiety drug for a while. It just took away the anxiety that probably caused the pains. In the mean time I also went into psychotherapy that lasted for a bout 5 years. That helped me a lot on a rational level. I still find it hard to get close to my emotions. I am a very cerebral person.

    Making a big jump: beginning of May this year, I am now in my early forties: I woke up one morning and I couldn't move. My right leg hurt so much. I could only cry, so much pain. I wanted to go to the hospital. But my husband gave me heavy pain killers. But the pain didn't go away. I ended up in the emergency room a couple of days later when an enormous pain attack broke through. I couldn't walk, so my husband had to carry me into the hospital where I literally laid down on the floor and cried for help. Within no time four people took me to a room and gave me heavy pain killers through IV. The neurologist came in and did some tests, gave me the diagnosis immediately: herniated disc L5-S1. After that I also got an MRI and he was right in his diagnosis. By then I couldn't feel my foot and I had strange warm-cold sensations in the nerves of my right leg. They advised me bed rest. And if the pain wouldn't go away within 6 weeks: an operation.
    The pain did go away after 5 weeks by keeping calm. I have my own company by now, being a lawyer with 12 people working for/with me. It feels like a big responsibility. And it is. I do put a lot of pressure on myself. I like to be/do good. So a lot is going on in my work life. Also in my private life, my husband and I were working on our relationship. We love each other very much, but come from very different backgrounds that we have been trying to bridge over the past ten years, with success but also with a lot of effort and pain.
    The pain finally did go away after 6 weeks of bed rest. For about 95%. I still had a numb feeling in my foot. The summer I spend in France with my family and we had a great time with little distraction from my back problems.
    Just one and a half week ago it started again. After a weekend where there was a lot of anxiety about a very close friend of us who might be very ill. I was so scared to loose her and so scared that I wouldn't be able to live without her that I could only cry and cry... Besides that I had an issue at my work, and then I have my family to take care of, my two children who of course need a lot of attention too. My eldest son just went to a new school this year. I think he likes a mommy not a person who is obsessed with her health/back and work issues.
    Bottom line. I think I might be a perfect Sarno case. The pain was gone in the summer, it came back cause of stress and anxiety. But what now? I keep reading Sarnos books but it doesn't help me. Therefore I will start following this TMS educational program and this is my day 1!
    1. femmie
      femmie
      I am at day 7. And I think I felt moments that the pain was less because of the journalling. Anyone else same experience?
      1. JanAtheCPA likes this.
      2. JanAtheCPA
        JanAtheCPA
        That's a very common experience, femmie! Another common experience is one symptom becoming less, while a new symptom emerges. And sometimes, just so you know, symptoms can become worse while doing the work - that's more proof that it's TMS, because it shows that the brain is fighting against exposing your deep emotions! Strange, but true. We call that an "extinction burst".
        Oct 5, 2015
    2. femmie
      femmie
      Herniated disc on MRI S1-L5
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  • My Story

    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Spain
    Occupation:
    lawyer
    Diagnoses:
    Herniated Disc L5-S1
    It actually started when I was in my early twenties. One day I woke up with enormous pain in my right arm. I couldn't move it. After a couple of days being in pain and in panic, my left arm joined the party. I was now completely dependent on others for doing simple tasks as washing the dishes, but more important, my job was in danger. I couldn't touch the keyboard without enormous pain. I felt so stupid and dependent. Doctor diagnosed me with RSI and I couldn't work full time.
    So. Looking back it was probably because I had just finished my studies (law) and I felt helpless. What if I couldn't make my own money? (a safety/security issue). Eventually I got rid of the pains (in my whole body by then) by taking an anti-anxiety drug for a while. It just took away the anxiety that probably caused the pains. In the mean time I also went into psychotherapy that lasted for a bout 5 years. That helped me a lot on a rational level. I still find it hard to get close to my emotions. I am a very cerebral person.

    Making a big jump: beginning of May this year, I am now in my early forties: I woke up one morning and I couldn't move. My right leg hurt so much. I could only cry, so much pain. I wanted to go to the hospital. But my husband gave me heavy pain killers. But the pain didn't go away. I ended up in the emergency room a couple of days later when an enormous pain attack broke through. I couldn't walk, so my husband had to carry me into the hospital where I literally laid down on the floor and cried for help. Within no time four people took me to a room and gave me heavy pain killers through IV. The neurologist came in and did some tests, gave me the diagnosis immediately: herniated disc L5-S1. After that I also got an MRI and he was right in his diagnosis. By then I couldn't feel my foot and I had strange warm-cold sensations in the nerves of my right leg. They advised me bed rest. And if the pain wouldn't go away within 6 weeks: an operation.
    The pain did go away after 5 weeks by keeping calm. I have my own company by now, being a lawyer with 12 people working for/with me. It feels like a big responsibility. And it is. I do put a lot of pressure on myself. I like to be/do good. So a lot is going on in my work life. Also in my private life, my husband and I were working on our relationship. We love each other very much, but come from very different backgrounds that we have been trying to bridge over the past ten years, with success but also with a lot of effort and pain.
    The pain finally did go away after 6 weeks of bed rest. For about 95%. I still had a numb feeling in my foot. The summer I spend in France with my family and we had a great time with little distraction from my back problems.
    Just one and a half week ago it started again. After a weekend where there was a lot of anxiety about a very close friend of us who might be very ill. I was so scared to loose her and so scared that I wouldn't be able to live without her that I could only cry and cry... Besides that I had an issue at my work, and then I have my family to take care of, my two children who of course need a lot of attention too. My eldest son just went to a new school this year. I think he likes a mommy not a person who is obsessed with her health/back and work issues.
    Bottom line. I think I might be a perfect Sarno case. The pain was gone in the summer, it came back cause of stress and anxiety. But what now? I keep reading Sarnos books but it doesn't help me. Therefore I will start following this TMS educational program and this is my day 1!