Day 2

Day 2. I was reading 'Zero Pain Now' this morning. I was really struggling and wrote is post on Tension Myositis Syndrome...

I'm currently reading 'Zero Pain Now' and I totally get it. I have believed repressed emotions are the cause of my pain for around 2 years now. Clearly, just knowing this isn't enough because I still suffer pain and other associated tms symptoms. I'm learning a few new strategies but the one I'm struggling with is focussing on my emotions. I recognise when I feel regret or I'm pissed off or feeling sad or let down and I've been looking at why.
The problem is that most of the time I don't think I am feeling anything. I try to feel what I'm feeling but there's nothing there. Im very content. So, how do I tap into my repressed emotions? I tried to think of things in my childhood and to get angry about it. I got a bit angry but I was kind of 'putting it on'. I was very sad though.
Most of the time the repressed emotion talked about is anger or rage but what are the other emotions? Shame? Fear? and also can there be many different repressed emotions?
Can feeling unloved and unlinked as a child cause hidden emotions of rage? There are so many examples from my life where I could possibly have repressed my emotions. I just feel like I'm not going to be able to discover what my hidden emotions are and therefore won't be successful in becoming pain free.
Has anybody else fallen at this hurdle or have any advice for me?

I returned to the last part of the book and really tried hard to focus on my feelings. I didn't actually feel sad at the time - nothing had happened today to make me feel sad - but for some reason I decided to go with it. I spoke out loud saying " I'm so sad that..." and I went through a load of stuff that has made me feel sad in my life. I did feel some immediate relief. It felt amazing and has filled me with hope. Now just as I am writing this the Pain is trying it on. I'm going to stop and think again about I'm feeling and see what happens...

 

I just saw this and felt sad that no one responded. We must all have been busy that day!
I hope your symptoms have improved with practice.
Feeling unloved as a child certainly qualifies as a rage producer, because feeling unloved produces shame ...and rage is the protective shell of our shame.
We feel defective that we were not loved and so we produce symptoms to avoid the rage, the shame, the grief. We also may produce symptoms because they get us some attention and sympathy, which we may be starving for.
All best wishes,
Bg

 

Thank you for responding. I will take some time to consider your response x

 

I felt like you did. I really couldn't figure out what about my childhood was causing hidden emotions. It took a couple of months of thinking it over and journaling about potential childhood pitfalls to figure it out. In the end I felt like it was less important to know exactly what they were and more important to understand that some important things I needed in childhood were missing -like positive messages and words of support. I wish you luck on your journey and hope it's going well.