I’m new and have questions (pelvic pain)

Hi everyone, I’m new and I need advice and support. Sorry for my bad english, it is not my native langage.

I give a little context first. I suffer from pelvic pain from 8 years now. It started suddenly during my pregnancy making it very very difficult. It continued after the birth of my daughter with up’s and down’s but now is clearly a big relapse. I received a lot of diagnosis which means nearly nothing but with their name you can picture my pain: painful bladder syndrom, complex regional pain syndrom in the pelvic area, pudendal neuralgia,...

I’m convinced now that I have TMS. Before my pregnacy, I had no pain but I suffered from insomnia during childhood then I had eating disorders and other stuff. I’m a perfectionist, I’m very anxious, I have a very low self esteem, I want everyone to love me... You see, I match al the criteria.

I started Dr. Schubiner’s program. I’m at day 5. My symptoms worsen and it makes me very anxious. Nearly a year ago, I was feeling better and nearly cured without doing everything. I was so happy. It came back two months ago and it was nearly like during my pregnancy. So intense. It burns a lot. The more the time goes, the worst it becomes and the program seems to trigger the pain. One big problem is my anxiety. The pain really terrifies me and I know a big part of the program is to get to a point where you don’t pay attention to the pain.

1) How do you manage the fear of the pain? I’m totally obsessed with it. I know it is not harmful but it hurts and it fills my mind. I can’t live like that. I really need advices.

2) I have the impression that I already know a lot about myself because I do a therapy. I’m aware of my past trauma’s. I know that I have anger inside of me. How do I go further? I have a lot of hypothesis for what my pain hides but I think too much. How do I know which emotion or which hypothesis is the one to dig in? I’m confused in the middle of my past trauma’s, my actual stressors, the hate I have against myself,... What do I do with that?

3) If you suffer pain like my pain and want to share that you are better, it would be very appreciated. I’ve already read success stories and it is so precious....

Thank you for reading me and take care.

Candice.