Day 1 Journey to a pain-free life

This is my first post on any forum ever. I am not used to expressing myself at all (hint to TMS much?) .I also fit perfectly the TMS prone profile: Perfectionism, goodism, conscientiousness... always putting others' needs before my own and not caring about how I feel or what I want.

I am a pianist who for years now is barely able to practice. Whenever I try to practice I start getting pain and directly get discouraged/depressed. It gave me years of suffering and feelings of worthlessness. I would be worried to use my hands in any way, went to many doctors, physical therapists, would put ice MANY times a day on my hands trying desperately to heal, non-stop stretching, took a lot of pills (anti-inflammatories, pain killers, muscle relaxants...)

I can have some doubts as to whether some of the pain is RSI related since piano can be quite demanding on the hands, but I am sure that I have TMS (neck, shoulder, and back pain)

What does being pain-free mean to me? Life. Freedom. Being myself again. I can play piano finally. Without constantly being afraid. I can follow my dreams (that already contain a lot of pressure since many people told me im wrong in pursuing a music career since it is not safe... add to that constant pain and not being able to practice? )

Looking forward for this journey of self discovery, accepting myself, and getting rid of this pain.