Losing confidence against TMS

As I mentioned in a previous post, It's been a few days since my pain has returned. Though I remain 100% confident that it is TMS, I no longer have any confidence in my ability to overcome it. I've tried everything that worked before, to no success. It's as if, like a virus, the TMS has mutated and has become immune to my efforts and intends to continue to cause me pain regardless . I have lost the power I once had. This all is however, one way another, just a clever mind game. So I'm wondering: Can losing confidence in your ability to overcome TMS pain be as counterproductive and empowering to the TMS as denying TMS in the first place?

I hate to have such a victim mentality and feel ao defeatist. It's hard not to when you feel like you've tried everything. I'm just tired and feel beat by the TMS. I can only reread Dr. Sarno's books so many times.

 

TMS works by making you obsess, by distracting you. At first, you were distracted by your back/pain. Then that went. Now you are distracted/obsessing on the belief you can't do this - so you are still distracted and still obsessing, so TMS is still working. There are so many success stories out there of people who were pain free and then had relapses. This is common. I know it's hard but you have to let it go and get on with your life.

Regarding the relapse, what is the message? Who are you angry at? What are you afraid of? What would you be focussing on now it it were not your TMS?

 

Such a great question to ask ourselves when having TMS! The answer to that question is fundamental to why we have TMS.

 

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/overcoming-terrible-back-pain.16928/ (Alan G. - Overcoming terrible back pain)

Alan just posted about your issue.

 

TMS is truly difficult to overcome. I am on Day 25 of the TMS program and so far there has not been any reduction of pain. I look forward to the day I can say that the pain is calming down. I know my brain is really working hard to keep me from dealing with my emotions because since I began this program I have had new symptoms show up. One in particular only comes when I am feeling stressed about the pain. I have learned to just relax and remind myself that it is TMS and I am OK. It must be frustrating to have the symptoms return after they have finally disappeared.

I really like the quote by Ewok. "It's not the load that breaks you down. It's the way you carry it." TMS is a difficult load to carry but I know it can be overcome eventually. If that were not the case no one would have overcome it. Just keep trying. I know you will make it and so will l. Have a great day!

 

I can relate to feeling defeated. I've been on this roller coaster ride for 12 years now. I'm much better than I was but still haven't knocked off that last bit of pain.

I'm even considering five element acupuncture. I know someone who said it really gets at the mind body spirit stuff, so I'm going for a consultation today. I haven't ever tried acupuncture (and the idea of the needles still makes me uncomfortable ) but since I know my pain is all mind based, and the acupuncture allegedly addresses that too, maybe it can help? Has anyone here had any experience with this?

I'm going in knowing that it's psychological and trauma stuff that's feeding my pain. I just don't know if this is a waste of my time or not. But after so many years of knowing it is TMS, I am at a loss.

{added note}:
I just went back and read some of the past posts about acupuncture. General consensus looks like it's still just a distraction and a physical approach. But there still is some support the other side of the argument. However under the affirmations description it talks about massaging acupuncture points while saying affirmations. So it sounds like they're still might be something positive to take away from acupuncture. Still don't know if I should try from a trained person or not. I'm just going to go for my free consultation more for my own interest to hear what they say they do.

 

Hi all,

I have also new issues but when it comes to fear : i think that tms experience in it self can become a huge fear. I am alway surprised that someone is complete symptom free : because after having debitating pain : how can one not have fear? : i have seen how bad it can get and how deep you can sink in ' : its seems natural and human to fear ever going back there '
I know i am. So there can be fear at the root of symptoms (life events, big changes) but the experience i had with tmspain : loosing job + loosing freedom etc etc to me was such a big thing' in my life that now i will fear ever going back there

 

Ditto!!

 

Hello, I have had chronic back and neck pain for the past 8 years. I came across Dr.Sarno's book last year and immediately got better ...unfortunately not for long. This pattern has continued ever since. I feel ok and like I'm making progress only to end up with disabling pain which lasts anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. It comes on suddenly and in different places. I'm not giving up hope but I have to say it's been a difficult ride and I am getting tired. I have a question, does anyone out there experience more pain at night? I often manage to talk myself out of the pain during the day but wake up with extreme pain at night and in the morning. Does anyone know why this happens?

 

I totally relate. I am feeling the same myself right now.

 

I can relate to feeling tired of playing this mind game. It was such a relief to learn that I didn't have to play it anymore.

Check out Dr Amy Johnson's blog. http://dramyjohnson.com (- Amy Johnson, PhD Psychologist. Life Coach).

She talks a lot about habits but don't let that throw you off. She means it in a very broad sense. Playing this mind game against TMS is a habit that you can break without giving in to it.

 

The whole reason I came to this forum today is because I'm basically in the same boat. It sucks that TMS can come back so strong, even after being totally pain free and feeling amazing for YEARS. For me it originally started with serious lower back pain, it was so bad I couldn't carry around my own firstborn baby son. After reading Sarno's books, the back pain went away completely, I was thrilled, but TMS wasn't done with me - not long after the back pain went away, I got carpal tunnel syndrome real bad (I'm a computer programmer, I type most of the day, every day), it was worse than the back pain, eventually I found a solution there, and that pain went completely away, but then I got hit with perhaps the worst TMS symptom ever, dizzy spells - which blew my mind, didn't think TMS could even go there, this was the worst as it was like a panic attack, and I never knew when it was coming, I was embarrassed at work by it a couple of times when I couldn't even walk. Thankfully the dizzy thing didn't last long, it went away never to return. Then I enjoyed an amazing stretch of probably 8 years, being totally pain free and feeling fantastic, until just a couple months ago! Now all the sudden its like I've been hit with a ton of bricks, in the past I only had one symptom, but now I've got really annoying elbow pain, tinnitus (also really annoying), and testicle pain (ouch). Its so ridiculous I am now laughing about it which I guess is an important step in the healing process!

I did the usual precautionary doctor check ups, a serious battery of tests, none of which turned up anything, and now I'm pretty convinced its TMS which I guess is the first step in healing (all of these symptoms are well documented as something that can manifest from TMS). After doing the TMS review work, listening to a great TMS lecture on youtube, and thinking more about what is going on in my mind, my anxieties and anger etc. I do feel some pain relief, so I am encouraged, but at the same time I'm bad enough that I found this forum today and posted on it
Trying my best not to let it distract me. This all started up after a brutal 1 week at work where I pretty much had to work around the clock, with serious sleep deprivation (78 hour work week) but after that project was completed, I haven't really been under any stress at work and I'm doing pretty much normal 40 hour work weeks now, and I got caught up on my sleep... I think I have a lot of anxiety about death honestly, that is probably the heart of my troubles, as I've also been spending a lot of time studying life extension and health/optimal nutrition, I may be a little too preoccupied about that. I am a Christian, I should have lower anxiety about my own mortality, but at the same time, I know this is a very common anxiety, and everyone, atheists, christians, jews, muslims, have doubts, if you didn't, you probably had no faith to begin with. My favorite Bible verse is "I believe, help me in my unbelief". I also had to have somewhat serious surgery earlier this year, so that is probably a contributing factor, the first real signs that I'm getting older and body parts are already "going bad" -- I'm sure this has subconsciously given me more anxiety about future disease and suffering that most will go through until the disease of aging itself is cured.

Regards, and best wishes!

 

@Odrog - I've been dealing with this issue in therapy and have learned that keeping the right perspective is the hardest part about TMS recovery because the symptoms can really wear you down. It is really important to keep reminding yourself that your symptoms are psychologically caused.

It's not about whether or not you have symptoms, it's about how you respond when symptoms come up. You can't control the symptoms but you can control how you think about them. You have to try and hold on to the fact that you are in control and not the symptoms. It's important not to scare yourself. This is something you have to tap into as you may not realize you are doing it. Mindfulness helps with learning to become aware of your thoughts. Tell yourself that your symptoms aren't real, they are just something that scares you. It's all about fear. As long as you are not fearing the symptoms they don't have as much power.

One mantra I find empowering and helpful is: This thing doesn't have to control me. You can tell it: "I know what you are and you only have as much control as I'm willing to give you."

I'm also a believing person and often feel like my fear is caused by a lack of faith. Technically that is true. Worry and fear is a lack of faith that a higher power runs the show and not us. That being said, we are only human and we have our emotional struggles so don't be too hard on yourself in this regard. That is another TMS trait

Feel better!

 

Thanks for the encouragement Penny. I definitely do struggle with lack of faith AND self criticism.

I do have some good news and also encouragement to others here. I started the new free course here:
http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/ (Pain Recovery Program)
I only got through Day 5 yesterday, but already my pain is completely gone (for now anyway). It might be back again soon, but this is hugely encouraging! So anyway, do the course everyone, and really pour yourself into it, there are suggestions in there, and things to think about, Day 5 in particular talks about "catching your fears" - I expand this a bit, to "catch your negative self talk" (I think this is key to reducing anxiety).

So anyway, after just 24 hours on this forum, my pain is gone, but I still have tinnitus, which is OK as it doesn't bother me that much.
Thanks so much to the folks that created these free resources! Excellent work!

 

That is amazing! Good job.

As you said, the symptoms might kick and scream a bit but as long as you keep the right perspective they shouldn't be so bad.

I think part of my issue is that I get discouraged that after all these years I haven't completely recovered from TMS and of late it has also hit me really hard. But perhaps people like us just need to expect that symptoms might come up once in a while. As a perfectionist I want to be completely recovered but since I don't have control on that I'll have to settle for keeping it in check when symptoms comes up.

One thing that I hope to accomplish this round is to acquire the tools for maintenance. The years of repeated recovery from my TMS attacks has been like yo-yo dieting. I work on things and the symptoms go away but then I just go back to treating myself the way I always have and I inevitably have another episode. It's like gaining the weight back after loosing it because you go back to your bad eating habits.