New scared and bewildered UTI symptoms

Hi everyone. I am new here and was pointed to this site by someone who has had a lot of help from here. I am 53 yo woman with many anxieties emotional problems and depression. I am currently suffering urinary problems which I have had in the past an managed to overcome as being a part of my anxiety. They started 9 yrs ago while on holiday, thought I had UTI but nothing showed up and the constant irritation and frequency carried on for many many months. I had tests tablets etc and the more I relaxed about the symptoms the more they disappeared. I was left with a loose diagnosis of IC and had all but forgotten it when 2 months ago out of the blue one morning cystitis symptoms started. It reignited the fear all over again, I went to docs who found leukocytes only on dipstick gave me antibniotics and sent me away. The symptoms continued for a few weeks and I did lots of relaxation and self hypnosiss and they disappeared pretty much altogether. Then tuesday just gone again massive flare of symptoms. I had penicillin for a throat infection last week and four days after stopping the symptoms came back. I took sample to docs again and this time it showed blood and lukocytes on the dip which sent me into a spin. My mind going straight to cancer as blood is a sign of bladder cancer. I am in complete panic state over this. Had antibniotics which I started yesterday and yesterday the bladder feelings had subsided and I had developed pain in lower back and up into left side. Doctor said I must have antibiotics in case of kidney infection so although I detest taking meds I have started tablets. 2 hours after starting tablets bladder irritation started again!! What on earth? Back pain is better today but am still getting irritation, stinging niggling not really pain as such. Feeling like I need to be all the time etc. So of course I am afraid this is not infection.......am awaiting lab culture to be sure....and that the antibiotics wont help. I guess I am asking if this could be TMS? I cannot imagine my mind could cause bleeding in my bladder so maybe its not but I am pretty sure I hasve TMS as have had soo many weird debillitating symptoms that seem unique to only me over the last few years. I really need to find help for this. I am pretty desperate and cannot see any way out of this dark place of constant fear. Thanks for reading. Jess x

 

Hi, Jess. You seem to be thinking yourself into believing you have bladder cancer. But your UTI may very well be from that thinking. Medication for anything can be ineffectual. Your symptoms may very well come from worrying you have a form of cancer.

I hope you can spend some time journaling about your anxieties and depression... that is most likely from where your UTI problems come.

 

Hi Walt and thank you so much for replying. I do constantly worry about cancer.....old memories which have caused a phobia I guess.....so I do feel deep down my mind is my worst enemy where illness is concerned and I have kind of learned to manage the bladdee symptoms until now when blood actually showed on dipstick. I have lots of reading to do as this TMS is new to me. I certainly see similarities in my past symptoms of HA dizziness nausea IBS chronic pain chronic fatigue brain fog derealization pelvic pain etc so it is something I must pursue. where to start tho whilst I am in this total brain fog? It's great to hav3 somewhere to come and ask questions. I wonder if there are any UK therapists.

 

Hi Jessie. Walt has given some good advice. Fear is something that we all struggle with on this board, quite often seeing other peoples suffering, becomes our own fear. We fear the worse case scenario in life, something that may never be. The fact that you've consciously recognised this puts you in tune with yourself and gives you the upper hand.

I know this must seem so overwhelming and difficult right now, but the key is to slowly and gradually change your thinking. If you need to see a DR to squash your fears of Cancer, so be it, Knowing can give one peace of mind and allow you to move forward with a sound and healthy mind set.

Once you've ruled out any serious conditions, it may be worthwhile practicing mindfulness and trying to disengage from some of the fears you have, in conjunction with consulting with a TMS Therapist. The link for which is: http://www.sirpauk.com/ (SIRPA UK)

Finally, please be gentle to yourself and try and enjoy the small blessings and fruits life has to offer, as hard as it may seem. Taking your focus away from the body and into a neutral/safe place can promote a soothing and calming response where healing is possible.

With warmth and love,

 

Hi Mike and thank you for such a lovely post. I am trying so hard to control my thoughts and anxiety but struggling. I must try to do the programme and focus on the good things in life. I just feel so weighed down at the moment. Thanking you all for your support. Jess x

 

You're welcome Jessie, hang on in there it does get easier and please feel free to ask as many questions as you need. It's such a supportive network.