Pandora's Box

Oh my, what have I done?! Lol! So, after my latest bizzaro medical issue I finally stumbled upon Dr. Sarno, read his book and the Unlearn Your Pain and I am working through it. I got myself a TMS therapist and have my 2nd meeting on Sunday. Initially, I was able to almost get rid of my new TMJ issues and then I began having anxiety that felt reminiscent of my intense childhood episodes, then an old back issue that I had surgery for 3 years ago reared its butt ugly head, then my OCD. I feel like I have opened Pandora's box! It was easier when I thought it was all physical and I could research and find an outside solution and be on my merry way. To know that I have so much control/power over the situation is terrifying and makes me feel doomed! I'm scared of giving myself more issues or making the current ones permanent. I can't even fathom being able to change the hot mess that is my mind. I am totally overwhelmed and super stressed about this back issue coming back. I feel out of control and like I made a big mistake digging into all this. I feel totally worse then before. Any words of advice to a newbie who has turned things upside down?

Thanks.

 

hi Sheryl: I am maybe in a similar situation to you but I would say hang in there. And of course discuss with your TMS therapist. I have had my issue (back/pelvis pain) for about a year but only in the last 4 months really became convinced it was TMS (and even saw a TMS doctor who diagnosed it as such). About a month ago I also started doing the Unlearn Your Pain exercises and started increasing my physical exercise as well and since then it has actually gotten worse. But I am also told that that is not uncommon - it can get worse inititally as you start to really dig in. I think even Schubiner says that someplace in the book. I am also reading the Steve Ozanich book and apparently it happened to him. Jim Prussack has a YouTube video, linked below where he talks about the ups and downs of recovery and that sometimes your brain can act like a "punitive king": in essence it sees you are trying to solve the issue and gives you more or different symptoms ("symptom imperative"). But if you face it and stay strong it will back down.

Anyway I hope this helps you. I keep telling myself NEVER GIVE UP. You can do it.

 

Thank you for sharing hawaii_five0. It was helpful and encouraging. The ups and downs are so hard to manage and I know that is where my work lies. I am so hard on myself and am a grade A catastrophizer! I want to change that, but man, o, man is it HARD! I use to be optimistic and hopeful, but after so many arduous medical mountains I got worn down. I hope this is the mountain that leads somewhere better. Fingers crossed. Thanks for the support. Best of luck to us both.

 

TMS can move all over the place because nerve endings are all over the body so don't give your mind any excuse to worry or repress or it will start to get irritated again

 

That Jim Prussack video is amazing! i have definitely been recently suffering from the “punitive king” within. as i have been slowly healing and thinking i was really on the mend with night numbness and tingling in my legs and hands, BAM! it has come back. maybe an extinction burst, maybe the punitive king, but definitely symptoms have arisen again after subsiding a bit. it had me a little nervous and worried but the concept of the punitive king has made me realize it’s all still an “inside job” and as Emerson always said “Do not seek outside yourself”

 

I just finished reading the part of the Steve Ozanich book where he describes his recovery (which took somthing like 15 months). I find it encouraging. He describes it as often feeling like it was one step forward, 5 steps back. But apparently, as he describes it, over time, many months, the backward steps started to decrease in their intensity, so he just kept at it. But he also admits he was overfocused/overthinking it, and that one of the most important things to do, maybe *the* most important thing to do is lose the preoccupation with it, find other activities other than thinking about your body and symptoms, and when you can do that a kind of magic will occur and you will get better. So I am trying to do that. Although here I am typing a message on the tms forum, LOL.