Primer for Families and Friends?

Hi Everyone,

I am asking if there is a ready-made resource which would help orient family and friends of TMS sufferers/learners about what this approach is, and how to be helpful in their support of their family/friend who undertaking the kind of work we support here. Any resources out there?

I think this is needed, and could be relatively short.

Thank you for the help.

Sincerely,

Andy B

 

Thanks for asking this question! I’m really curious what people post to this.

For an intro in TMS, I think short videos are great. Here are two that I really like because they speak about neural pathways and the brain – a more accessible reason to family members who wouldn’t really understand the psychology of it. (Especially since people, like my parents, would feel accused and blamed if I mention childhood issues.) Both are under 5 minutes:

PPD Association:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=37&v=D36yy63CHq4 (Neural Pathways)

Lorimer Moseley:
https://www.tamethebeast.org/#tame-the-beast (Tame the Beast)

More great videos on PPD site:
https://ppdassociation.org/videos (Educational Videos — Psychophysiologic Disorders Association)

I’m going to a family gathering this weekend, and this has been on my mind – how to answer “how’s your back pain”? These particular family members are concerned and caring, but psychological stuff is really beyond them. (In fact, it’s pretty much the way of my family – these ideas of not speaking about problems outside of the family, why can’t you talk to me instead, we don’t really have a history of “mental issues” in our family, etc. – which is all total BS. Now that I know about TMS, I see it everywhere!) I plan to say, “I haven’t recovered yet, but I’m seeing a good therapist.” And if there are more questions, I might say, “Well, as you know, I had a physical injury many years ago. I healed from it, but the pain stayed. This therapist is helping me with some techniques to overcome that.” If they ask even more, then I might get into neural pathway explanations because they would be more willing to accept the idea of me seeing a therapist who helps with "the brain" rather than "the mind." Of course, this could lead them to think that there is something structurally wrong with my brain, which isn't true. So maybe one of the best ways to illustrate it to someone who doesn't have chronic pain is to talk about phantom limb pain – mostly everyone already knows about that. Most likely though, they’ll kind of nod along and tell me how great it was that time they saw a chiropractor…

For those friends and family members who do seem to understand the concepts though, I would love to see a short video like these on how to support a TMSer! I wonder if one of the hardest things for them to understand would be about how recovery isn't linear.

 

Thanks Pemberley,
If I can't find anything and have to create my own, your thoughts about how family and friends perceive TMS healing are a good start.
AndyB

 

Andy
Are you involved with working as a counselor or advisor to people with TMS and their families? ( like I believe Steve Ovanich does)
Lainey

 

Yes Lainey, I am. I am really enjoying my work with TMS sufferers as a Life Coach.

I was thinking to post whatever we find or I create here also.

Andy B

 

I'm excited for you. I think you would be a GREAT coach, based on all of the comments I have read by you. What medium to you use/prefer to use? Skype, phone, etc.
Lainey

 

Hi Lainey,
I use skpe or phone. Here is a recent interview if you're interested in some of my experiences:
http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/avoiding-foot-surgery-interview-with-andy-bayliss.20733/#post-108360 (Avoiding Foot Surgery Interview with Andy Bayliss)
I hope you're well, Lainey.
Andy