Support for my TMS journey

Greetings, I'm new here and wanted to share my experience, connect, and affirm that I am on track. I've been working with tms for 6 months or so now. Things got worse recently so jumped back into it a month ago - currently, doubt is creeping in and my pain is not really improving this last month.

I have been journaling most days, doing therapy once a week, and remembering the TMS principles throughout the day while just ignoring the pain as best as I can. I don't feed the obsessive fixation/thinking about the pain. I just let it ride, but it's still there. I just try and not fuss about it.

My main symptom is pain from sitting (lower back / mid back) or from maintaining any position (standing, walking, laying) for 20+ minutes. Things start to ache, tighten, etc. Thus, I constantly change positions as the pain/aching slowly builds up. In summary of what i found on TMS Wiki about sitting pain symptoms is this: "Doesn't matter how long you sit. If you are conditioned to believing it will occur, then it will. There would be 3 causes to back problems as put in sarnos books, current stressors, past events and personality traits. Sit as much as you want it doesn't cause back problems."

I 100% believe I have TMS and that I am healing (after reconfirming that sitting should not cause back pain). Earlier today, I was starting to doubt and wonder - "Does everyone feel pain from sitting for long periods? This is normal right?" But no, I renounce that.

A recent situation: my back was aching on a 5 hour drive home (I applied the TMS ideas and ignored it otherwise). Since being home, my back has been more tight than usual, and I wonder if that's just normal after having sat for so long while driving. My spiritual practices involve yoga/stretching which seems to relieve the tension in the back a little bit (though I mentally try to assert that I am stretching for the benefits of spiritual practice and flexibility, not for pain management).

I have been to chiropractors and they have all fed me the same garbage about my back - that thing there or this thing here. I know I'm healthy and back is great - that said, tms has been causing aching and pain for 5 years or so now. Physical activity has never been an issue, i play all kinds of sports on daily basis with no issues.

I plan to ordain as a buddhist monk so maintaining a position, especially sitting upright, without excessive pain is important to reach deeper states of meditation. I meditate regularly and the back aching is always there with me. My mindset is: I 100% believe in TMS, I/my back is perfectly healthy. I notice the pain, set the intention not to worry about it, just let it be, i know this is tms, and just sit as long as I can before the pain/aching becomes unbearable (40 minute mark is when it revs up).

Thank you for reading, I welcome any thoughts of insight, reflection, or encouragement for my healing.

 

If it's any help, I sit all day in an uncomfortable chair working on the computer all day and often in the evening and I don't have any back pain.

 

This leapt out at me as an area of unresolved issues. This seems like a huge life decision as well as incredibly important to the pain you're experiencing, yet you just kinda slipped it in there like an after thought ...

 

My husband sits in his chair a minimum of 12 hrs a a day, runs 5-7 miles, swims and does some basic stretches in frankly what would be termed as “poor form” by many and has no back pain. He also sits up, slouches, has really poor posture. No pain.

 

Thank you for this thought. I've thought about this upcoming change as a potential instigator. I leave end of July for Malaysia. I will remain open to these feelings and stressors.

 

That is a good observation. If you are going to have to sit for long periods of time, unconscious fear and/or anger about this life change could definitely do the one thing that would prevent you from doing it -- not being able to sit for long periods of time. The perfect pain for trying to make you avoid that life change.