Symptom Imperative

I've been struggling with the return of foot pain for the past month. In the past, this foot pain was the main manifestation of my TMS, but it's been nearly two years since I've had a major episode. Since December I've been in a relapse of sorts...first sciatica, then knee pain, then the foot pain, interspersed with pain-free periods. The foot pain has greatly decreased this past week and today is the first day I've felt "normal". But just as I'm feeling relief that the foot pain is gone, pretty strong knee pain has cropped up again. It's incredibly frustrating. I feel like I'm in a viscous cycle.

Any words of encouragement? I've been journaling, going over past notes I've made from YouTube videos, reading this forum for inspiration, and am currently reading The Divided Mind. I've read The Mind Body Prescription, Great Pain Deception and The Meaning of Truth. I feel like I know what I need to do to be pain-free. I've seen it work before. But the way the pain keeps moving around has me feeling fearful, doubtful and anxious. Thank you!

 

Don't become discouraged, Sarah. That's what the unconscious mind wants to do to you.
Just go on believing your pains are from TMS and reassure yourself that you believe it 100 percent.
If doubts enter, the pain stays or moves around.

Maybe recite a mantra to yourself: "I believe 100 percent that my pains are from TMS and they are
not structural."

 

Thank you Walt. Your words are always so reassuring.

 

Hi sarah430,

I'm dealing with the symptom imperative right now too, and understand how frustrating it is. I just keep telling myself that I've overcone TMS before, so I can do it again. Just keep doing what we know has worked in the past and we will have success again.

 

Hi, Sarah and Ellen, you're both on the right path. Just keep believing in TMS and don't
set a time clock for healing. It came before and it will come again.

Also try to laugh. I just had a very frustrating morning with computer and Internet problems
and laughing helped me to come out of the dark tunnel.

 

Thank you Ellen!

And Walt....Yes! I've had a crazy, frustrating day at work. Laughter is definitely needed. Thanks for the reminder.

Work is one of my biggest sources of stress right now. I'm in a situation where there is more work for all of us in the office than time to complete it. I worry about that a lot. But today I realized that I don't need to carry that on my shoulders. I'm not in charge. It's really my director's problem if our work group doesn't produce on schedule. As long as she thinks I'm doing a good job (which she does) all I can do is complete my work as best as I can. I don't need to worry for the group. Phew!

 

You're reached a good way to handle the workload, Sarah.
I have a boss who is a book publisher and he has put a gorilla on his back, much bigger than a monkey.
It used to give me headaches trying to keep up with his work wants, but I learned to just work at my own pace,
which gave me some relief.

 

Went on a run this morning after repeating some of my mantras and Sarno's 12 reminders. My knee did not hurt in the same spot, but I did start to feel some pain in my knee but in a different way. Told myself that's a sign it's running scared and worked hard to not let the fear develop. Tried to acknowledge and let go. I'm planning another run tomorrow so will meditate on this some more before then. I'm hoping this is progress!