What medical questions to ask?

I believe I have TMS sciatica (and back pain) and have read Sarno’s books and watched his video. I am about 70 - 80% better but am stuck at this level (and possibly getting slightly worse) for the last few months. I have managed to stop taking the painkillers (tapentadol) and anti inflammatories (vimovo) but not the Pregabalin/Lyrica.

After a MRI I visited a private neurosurgeon. This meeting lasted 10 mins and costed 250e (cheap I know compared to the US). He looked at my MRI for 30 seconds, asked a few questions (can you walk on your tippy toes or heels – yes no problem) and gave me no physical examination; he told me I have a ‘fairly substantial‘ L5/S1 disk herniation and severe stenosis and his advice was to have surgery (surprise surprise). He said this would fix my sciatica, but my lower back was age related (I am 47).

My partner wants me to have a second opinion with another neurosurgeon tomorrow but what questions can I ask that will prove to my partner (and me) that my symptoms are not structural? Unfortunately, there is no TMS doctor in my country that I can go to see for an examination.

My family are partially supportive of me following the TMS recovery program but they just don’t really get it and think its mind over matter or placebo effect and they want me to take things easy and to continue to take anti inflammatories. Some want me to have the surgery even though they can see how much better I am in recent months. It is partially for this reason I am having the second opinion and feel I can't fully get better until after this visit however every time I visit a doctor I end up feeling worse (white coat syndrome .