110% Cured TMS-er, since 1999. New to this forum

Hi . My Name is Marc and I am a grateful, long recovered TMSer. I was one of the 'Book' cures, and am still learning more all of the time. I am 51, still a construction worker, skateboard, bicycle, play music and basically live a fun, active life with zero restraints (other than my own skills)Pain free...actually better because I have no fear of injury.

I have found more than relief from Back pain. I have used Sarno's theories/the work for knee, shoulder, hand, neck and other pain issues, as well as bronchitis, stomach issues and a host of seemingly non-related maladies.

After a 'check-in' post on the 'old' forum, my Friend Tennis Tom from that forum suggested I post it here as well, and... here I am.

I hope I can be of service to anybody still struggling with this crap. I am NOT a professional, but always have time to help a fellow sufferer.

Here is my Post from yesterday: WHEN IS IT TOO SOON ?

On another post someone just asked "When is it too soon" to call it TMS.
It never is.. you can recognize it Immediately. Our intuition and experience is such that we see our old 'friend' and laugh. Literally... big fat Buddha laugh at ourselves.

My very first TMS attack I can remember was when I was 6 years old. My Father and Nanny had both died within two months of each other in 1971. My Mother moved us to California from Belgium. Bought a house, enrolled us in school and promptly left us with an Aunt and took off on a trip by herself.

I was shooting baskets against a backboard when My neck spasmed...it was the most excruciating pain and every attempt to move my head caused unbearable...wait, you know. I certainly don't need to tell you guys what TMS feels like!!!

Conditioning is a Bee-otch. Throughout the rest of my life, anytime the 'female' in my life has gone on a long trip or left me GEOGRAPHICALLY I have had a recurrence. That doesn't mean every break-up... every break-up with a geographical component. Even if I am not that 'in love' with them. Girlfriends, wives, partners... boring precision. Obviously the 'child' in me has never got over the abandonment issue.

Now wait a minute!!! I HATE the modern 'woe is me' ACA, CODA type of mentality..."I am such a victim that...."

But TMS DOESNT CARE WHAT I THINK! I am 51 and a half. I work for myself, live alone and am completely God dependent and content. I am sober, healthy and living through one of the happiest phases of my life. I have freedom, cool toys, and the time and energy to use them.... peter pan on steroids!!

I have dated a woman off and on for 4 years. We have one fundamental difference... I have retired from trying to wrest satisfaction from this world past a good sandwich or guitar, a game of wiffle ball, or throwing a football. She still has 'something to prove' and I support her as much as I can,economically and spiritually though I have been resistant to getting too attached because her career will probably eventually remove her from my environs...possibly to another country, but definitely another state. I have no interest in a long distance relationship.

So... she flew out of state Wednesday and I woke up with an acute attack of sciatica and back pain. REALLY? After all of this time?

Yep.

In spite of my conscious 'OK-ness' with the situation that little 6 year old is still buried in there.

I knew it was TMS immediately. I didn't for one second take it serious. In spite of the flaming agony, and barely being able to climb the steps up to my bedroom, I laughed.

I got out my 18 year old copy of HBP. Did a quick scan of the numerous highlighted areas and it is gone. Period. I worked, worked out and did whatever I want in spite of the pain and merely focused on the odd piece of science that a piece of conditioning from 46 years ago still has any power at all... I don't need to understand, I just need to 'get it'.

It's a bit embarrassing, but it is our lot in life to have to look at these things and I am grateful to Sarno, the universe, god and you all that I have such an effective cure at my fingertips. I did wonder "Wow...what would my life be like if I hadn't have found this answer?"

But I wouldn't trade it for anything

thanks


My personal 'story' is somewhere on this site. It was added at the beginning when this site was being put together.... I had no idea you guys would get so big! I won't bore you with all of it, but it is still 'valid' other than I have learned even more since it's composition.

Been a great journey!

pax. Be well
-Baseball65

 

Wow, what a great story! I wish I was a book recovery, but I've been doing this work for going on 5 years and I'm still not cured. I think at this point, and my therapist agrees, I have central sensitization, so bascially my autonomic nervous system is on the fritz, due to conditioning and trauma. I did have a separated shoulder in the last three months, but having an overreaction of pain. (Should have healed within three or four weeks, but still have loss of motion and pain) Weirdly enough, I have something similar happen on the other shoulder and was diagnosed as throacic outlet syndrome, with no injury to explain it. I figured it was TMS, so started using it more and more by painting my house and exercising. The pain left, but a week later, it moved to the other shoulder, when I was walking my dog and he saw another dog and yanked hard on his leash, pulling my shoulder forward with a lot of energy, therefore separating it from the clavicle joint. (verified from x-ray)

Now because there is a real injry, TMS has reared its ugly head again, because I should have healed by now; but doctor said it needs to be rehabbed, because I can't raise my arm up over my head or behind my back. So frustrating, because I have the "nerve damage" symptoms of achy, pins & needles, cold sensation, etc....and it drives me nuts, especially at night. This makes me highly suspicious of having hypersensitivity due to years of TMS. Does that make sense?

 

I can't raise my Arm up over my head or behind my back.

I had that for a spell. It was really scary. It was during my divorce and as soon as the divorce was final, the symptoms went away. This is ALWAYS gonna be about what's going on in your life. My arm can throw baseball's 80mph and carry 60 pound buckets of water and joint compound all day long...how is a dog pulling on it going to do that? Since I found Sarno I have been hit by a Truck going 30 mph(direct, from behind) fallen into empty swimming pools (skateboarding) and endo-ed over the hood of a car locking up my front brakes too fast....all with zero 'symptoms' or injury. I routinely took 90 mph pitches right into my back and ribcage. I am NOT Iron man... our bodies are amazingly tough machines and that's why we are at the top of the food chain.

Like I said, I broke a vertebrae in my back falling two stories from a ladder, but never had pain because I didn't know I had broken it ..... Science has given doctors amazing diagnostic tools.... so we go to them with pain and they give us an 'answer' because that is how they think

If when you were walking a dog your shoulder began to hurt you had told me, my first question would be "What's going on in your life?" "How are your close personal relationships?" "Hows the relationship with your parents?" "How do you feel about your job, lack of one or otherwise?"

BTW...onn a totally side note to EVERY ONE... I quit watching TV entirely after reading HBP. Even watching the disney channel they sneak in "OMG... the sky is falling, film at eleven!!!"

Our last election and the division and collective insanity it has sent our country into is proof positive that TMS is abbout anger and fear.... all of my friends are having symptoms and illnesses in exact proportion to their involvement with the media!!! The world will still spin tomorrow without my care, concern, opinion or outlook.

Look Inside and the answer is always there...and it is NEVER as scary as you thought!!!

pax

 

I get what you're saying, but how else would my shoulder separate from my clavicle joint? I have scar tissue from a car accident decades ago that still pulls iny neck where I was injured, same with pelvic adhesions from a hysterectomy after the birth of my last child 19 years ago. I highly agree about stresses in life contributing to pain. I have been in psychotherapy for 3 years and have uncovered repressed emotions and trauma, which has helped. After years of chronic pain, my autonomic and even parasympathetic nervous system has become hypersensitive, leading to central sensitization, which makes much more sense.

I have a lot of evidence for this. Stress and emotions make the pain worse - that is for sure - but I don't think my pain is strictly TMS or I would have or should have recovered already. I've finally learned to accept where I am now and work on desensitizing the brain; I feel that will be my gilead of balm.

 

but I don't think my pain is strictly TMS or I would have or should have recovered already.

Not if you still believe in the structural mythology. The largest bone in the body, the Femur takes 6 weeks to heal, and there is only pain for a few weeks. My thumb was cut OFF and I was back at work in 5 weeks..... I am sure if someone MRI'd my shoulders they would find all kinds of crap from throwing things hard my whole life... But I think those things were always there and any pain is TMS. From your descriptions it seems like it's just moving around and your finding different reasons.... and you will always find what you look for.

I was in therapy off and on for years for my substance abuse issues, but that didn't immunize me from TMS. It made me aware of very little other than my shortcomings and propensities.... Sarno's work made me look at the deepest darkest stuff in me, like resenting having to be a good father, realizing I married a shallow person and a lot of other terrifying things....sans Therapist. 12 dollar book and a lot of time looking inside, writing, praying and admitting that in spite of ALL of the knowledge that Science and I can learn about, we really know very little about our brains, bodies,etc.

 

Great post and a great explanation by BB65 from the TMS perspective! If your "therapist" and I assume it's a psycho-therapist is agreeing to a physical/structural/bodily origin for your PAIN, then s/he is taking you away from the TMS path. Your autonomic nervous system is on the "fritz" but due to EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOSOMATIC/TMS trauma/conditioning and NOT due to any physical trauma, although there was a triggering physical event that is taking the fall for it. As BB65 quotes the Good Doctor on the resilience and intrinsic healing capacities of our own God given bodies--the femur, the biggest bone in the body, heals STRONGER then new in six weeks--after that, it's likely TMS, shadowing in the sub-c, using that event (with the full aid and dis-comfort of the moderne industrial medical/walgreen's complex) to provide the TMS distraction away from the emotional origins, providing the chronic pain as a distraction--whew!, that's one of a run-on sentence, I hope that makes some sense--if not open your TMS owner's manual--(any TMS book).

My problem with "therapists" today, and I've mingled with many in the hot-tub, is that they want to align themselves with the "white-coats", to enhance their status. I've yet to encounter one, in the vortex of woo-woo where I live, that has ever heard of the Good Doctor--and they should be the primary providers of the TMS "cure". They have gone physical, away from the PSYCHO-somatic solution, joining hands with the docs down the superficial hi-way of chronic pain. If you need a coach to get you back onto the TMS track, I advise contacting one of the many listed at this site who understand the subject and not string you along as a paid for buddy.

 

I think you misunderstood me. I wholly believe I have TMS, and I do believe that what I am dealing with now is TMS. But, I have had pain for over 20 years and I know that I am hypersensitive to it. My therapist, not a physical therapist, but a psychotherapist, thought that at this point my brain needs to be retrained because it is on an instant high alert all the time. It's Pavlov's conditioning. So, while I am working on getting into full activity, I am also trying to retrain my brain to not get too caught up in worrying about pain as a danger signal. I know in the past when I've done massage and when I've even done heavy exercise, it's been too much for my nervous system to handle and I end up worse.

I feel at this point that I'm always going to have emotional issues, just like anybody will, but my goal is to not have my brain think that it is dangerous and it needs to protect me. Also, I do a lot of catastrophizing and I need to change that as well.

I believe wholeheartedly in TMS, but I also believe the nervous system can become sensitized and that's where I'm coming from.

 

Thanks for the explanation. Does your psychotherapist believe in TMS? It can be like a which came first argument, "Which came first the TMS chicken or the egg?" Even in the TMS "community" there is debate by doctors about "physical/structural" things like"neural pathways" and "neuro-plasticity". From a TMS perspective, it's important to relate to the Candace Pert model of "molecules of emotion" that can be changed-up almost instantaneously with a deep breath. Our neurological systems, though resembling a wiring diagram for a house or a car, are not hard-wired, with copper, steel or aluminum wires--they are more electro-chemical in nature which we can rewire at our conscious will--or, allow our primitive sub-conscious to take over, and do it for us autonomically.

 

Oh yes, my therapist believes in TMS. She has been helping me uncover a lot of repressed emotions as well as processing a lot of trauma that has happened to me in my life. With her help, I have been able to really dig down and learn the truth about myself.

But like she said, I need to replace all the fear with something that my brain can latch onto that is positive and good, so that it can calm the nervous system down. I have had so much fear in my life that has ruled me. The fear of pain I think really keeps TMS going. I'm really trying hard to think of it as a protection that just needs taming, if you will.

I am still doing everything I would've done without having a separated shoulder, except for some actual range of motion that I haven't been able to do, no matter how hard I try, but have been stretching to get there. It's at night, when I lay on the affected side that it starts screaming at me, or I try to force activity or motion with that shoulder.

I also noticed that cold air seems to set it off with that burning, pins and needles sensation. I do get that it is still just a distraction, because there are times when I'm actually doing activities and exercise and the bloodflow is getting in those areas and I don't have the pain, but it's just random thoughts that can set it up as well. No doubt about it, our brains are weird and very complex.

 

I've had EXCRUCIATING !!! pain from "frozen shoulder"--"-c/6 c/7", etc., etc., etc.--whatever the white-coats want to physiologically codify it as, and many other posters have had pain in that area. It was due to the "break-up from hell". The best thing you can do is give IT/it , no attention--and poof--one day you wake-up, and it's gone--as quickly and TMS mysteriously, as it arrived. But it's mother's day, so if you want to give it a treat, rub some ice-cream on it--I like rocky-road--or you can take it internally which is a superior distraction.

 

Haha, will do. I believe the persistent pain is most likely due to the fact I am job searching, after being home for 24 years, and worried about the pain preventing me from doing a good job. I started job hunting last year, not a lot, but just dipping my feet in and seeing what's there, and that is when the shoulder stuff occured. I'm a freelance writer and everytime I'm on the computer for a long time, everything tenses up. I had to quit for a year due to the pain, but now, the pain is there, even when I'm not on it, so its not the computer - but could be just the fear of the anticipation of the pain (conditioning) which keeps it going.

I think once I get over the hurdle of finding a job and actually challenge the pain by working, the alarm system will get deactivated - at least that's my hope.

 

Wow Tom. We might be on to a new entry!
Louise Hay (who I would have laughed off the face of the earth before I read Sarno) has a catalogue of symptoms and their root mental/emotional cause. My Shoulder 'thang' happened in '11 right before my divorce was finished... a divorce that took 4 years because of stops and starts and reconciliations and not. Funny. I was also on a stressful project refinishing these massive 100 year old oak doors. At the time I was TMS saavy so I just ignored the symptoms and focused on something unsavory... I 'guessed' it was the anxiety of doing a perfect job on the 'Legacy' doors, as they were called. However, Ms. Hay cites 'the inability to carry out things in life joyfully'

But... now that I reflect, I was playing baseball through the whole ordeal... actually in two different leagues...and well, for me. It never hurt throwing a ball from centerfield to 2nd base... But when I was at work I can remember the pins and needle gross stiffness. My minds eye only remembers the symptom at work. Whenever I noticed it I focused on how stressed I was about the doors and it went away.... thank God we don't have to 'guess' right for symptoms to go away... Just follow the three R's, Refute, Return, Recondition.

Any time a Female companion is upset with me, They are always massaging their shoulders. Hmmm...

 

I don't know how free-lance writing works but couldn't you pitch articles on TMS? It seems like it's a wide open field for growth since there's probably only a few thousand people on the planet who've ever heard of it, and billions who potentially suffer from it. Turn the tables on the pain and monetize it--I'm sure it will make for a positive distraction.