Hello again...

I haven't been posting much in the past couple of months. I check in and read a little here and there, but don't feel like I am making progress anymore and actually feel embarrassed and ashamed about it. It's been six months since I found TMS and I almost feel like I have been going backwards. Typical TMS personality, "I must do this perfectly."

My brain has been throwing new symptoms at me in an attempt to keep me focused on my body. A few months ago, shortly after I got my nose pierced (just a cute little stud ), I started having this strange sort of pain in my front teeth, but two different dentists have cleared me of any dental cause. At the time, it was most bothersome when I was emotional and crying as a result of starting Unlearn Your Pain. I think my brain wanted to deter me from doing the work.

SO...guess what? I put it on hold telling myself I would get back to it after our vacation. That was in June. Here it is now the end of August and the girls are back in school leaving me plenty of free time. I am just now getting back to working my TMS stuff seriously again. I had been running back and forth to dentists all summer (2 root canals/crowns and now wondering if either were truly necessary), and stomach pain that started the day we got back from our cruise and has continued to present. I went to have it checked out and my doctor couldn't find a cause. Big surprise! A few weeks ago, I started having one of my really intense headaches and it lasted for 10 days. This time, though, I had a ton of anxiety with it because I was also having this hard-to-describe stuff going on with my eyes. It was almost like a dizzy feeling with pressure and pain, though closing my eyes was of no help. I was fearing that the pain would never go away, in addition to all kinds of other irrational fears that I won't mention. Well, it eventually subsided and I'm back to my normal every day "wake up with head, neck, shoulder, arm, and jaw pain...and now the stomach pain and tingly weird feelings in my front teeth, lips, and on my tongue. UGH!!!!! I am so fed up with this TMS! For the past week, I have been watching Sarno and Schubiner videos, rereading The Divided Mind, pulled out my journal, and started signing in again when I come here. I know of no where else to turn and I refuse to give up.

I intend to heal myself!!!! And then down the road...go on to help others heal from this insidious disorder.

Thanks to all of you for being here!

 

Hello honeybear424! Symptom imperative, in my experience, is one of the key indicators of progress. I'd say start simple, and expand. When you journal, start with the usual suspects -- work, family, finance, health, childhood. The key isn't feeling those feelings, but more like acknowledgement. I'll steal a trick from regular psychotherapy; make a list of your symptoms, and when they pop up, tell yourself "Oh it's just TMS", and move on (ideally, accept it, and let it happen). The goal is to work through the pain (usually slowly), and detach the emotion from the pain.

Finally, keep in mind that this is not something that is fixed overnight. Our brain works in "pathways", and the more frequently a pain "pathway" is used, the easier it is to be used again. This is why even regular deconditionning (ie; phobias, anxiety, pain disorders) takes a long time to work. And thus, while we hear shining stories of people who feel better overnight, most people take months to see improvement, usually in patterns of ups and downs.

Just my two cents

Disclaimer: I'm not healed, but this is some of the stuff I've done that has made my symptoms jump around. I had jaw pain too.

 

Like Ftaghn! said I think recovery from TMS can take time. At the deepest level nothing is really "wrong" with us--so it's more about changing how we relate to ourselves, accepting ourselves, maybe changing some thoughts and behaviors, but basically I see TMS work as a process of "undoing" -- trying to get out of my own way, stop fighting myself, and be more present and accepting of my feelings, etc. For me anyway, this is a whole new way of being, so it takes time.

 

Hi Honeybear:

I too have strayed from my TMS work. I've had a lot of anxiety this summer and a best friend who put me on "defense" to boot. I'm exhausted from defending myself. She was so on the attack that I found I couldn't respond in a manner that explained what I'm trying to do. I'm in a funk over this so I too popped onto the forum today. I have other symptoms that pop up besides my persistent back pain. I get dizzy, my neck and shoulder are starting to hurt, but when these other symptoms arise, I calmly tell myself: it's just TMS. This way the other symptoms are at bay and I'm not afraid of them. But my back pain is raging. I think the key is: I'm in a rage.

It's very frustrating to have that taste of feeling better only to have life knock us back to basics. But that is exactly what I'm doing. Starting again. I think in a few days I'll remember "the drill" and will feel better. I hope you do too.

Glad to see you here this morning HB -it's been months since I've had the time to post here. And I see a handful of people who, like me, are still in the good fight. But we WILL overcome this.

Take care, and perhaps write about the worry instead of the symptom. That's my goal for this weekend.

BG

 

Thanks to all of you for the responses. I just read through them again and took notes this time so that I could use some of the suggestions in my self-talk.