I'm unable to manage fear thoughts at night.how to trick them?

I'm suffering through cycles of good sleep days and sleepless days.
My pain(sciatic) has reduced significantly after adopting tms program and surfacing my anger thoughts.i have reduced my anxiety too.

What I have noticed is that the days on which I'm unable to sleep is either because of anxiety( which I think I can manage) or fear

After 3 good sleep days, every time I fall in the trap of fourth day where , when im in bed, a thought comes that makes me ferocious if I will sleep today or not. Then I imagine myself a bad day ahead and then a bad stressful life where I'm not doing my dream job and I don't have my girl by my side as I have lost my looks and hair because of no sleep and rest.

This happens in seconds.
And fucks me up.

And I truly believe that it's stopping me to sleep.

How to control that thing.its disturbing.
One day I'm fearless next I'm in fear.
And cycle repeats

 

Sorry, I laughed hard with your statement. Not because it is not important but because when I was younger I worried so much about my hair. I don't know how old you are but jobs will always come and go. It is not good to have what you like as a job, because then you stop liking it. It is better to have a good job and do what you like as a hobby. You will enjoy life more than way. Same goes for everything else. Stop planning life and live it more. One thing about planning all your life ahead is that it NEVER happens exactly like we want and then we get anxious. When my hair started falling in my thirties( my dad is bald and my grandpa by my mother's side too), I decided that I was not going to go thru the stages of hair loss, or the treatments, etc, so I took a shaver and shaved bald all the way. I really liked the new look, never had to worry about hair anymore in my life. It was a weight I took off. Most everyone liked it and it is in vogue still today. Bald heads do not go out of fashion. Then hit the gym a little bit and that's it. Think like that when you have those thoughts and you can ease out. And if a girl is going to be with you for just how you look, you better forget about dating for the rest of your life. People change and grow in love. Whoever girl is with you won't be skinny and nice looking the rest of her life. That is life. Accept it and your anxiety will go away.

 

Isn't it right that the only work that will take you to heights is the one you love and not your avg job.
Else you will suck for rest of life.

Like in ayn rand's 'fountainhead' if someone has read.
That might be relatable.

The last thought of my day is I'm not living my dream lifestyle.
And they say you make your own life.

 

Let me explain what I meant. I chose a career in a field that I loved always. The way we see these jobs when we are not in them is kind of like a TV show, where everything is perfect. But real life jobs have a lot of complications, safety hazards, meetings, expected results, pressure in many ways. Suddenly after a few years it is not so "romantic" to say the least. After that, I learned that I had tainted what I liked by making of it my job. Yes. Some people have perfect or ideal situations. It could happen, but it is not the norm. What I learned is that I could had have a job just to make the money, even if it was not my main passion, and then use that money to have my passion as a side hobby or even as a part time job. Once you depend on your job to make your wages, there is not much you can change regarding it, or if you wish your job to be more flexible, etc. Idealizing what would be your "perfect job", would only make the perfectionist in you even more anxious when you do not get exactly what you need.

 

I haven’t read Fountainhead, but from my knowledge of Ayn Rand this must be a very heroic understanding of life. This is also what I can read in your messages: absolute values, romantic ideals and perfectionism. Consider, if this really is what life is about. Your passion can be with you in all circumstances. I have my ‘dreamjob’ and believe me, I am sometimes close to quit and doing something totally different and only for the money. Romantic relationships are another thing where we have to learn that things can change. People get divorced, find new spouses.
I think you can relax and trust your passion for life. It will turn out okay and the important part is that you handle things in a way that you are fine. Maybe reading something else? If you like philosophy I would recommend Richard Rorty’s “Irony, contingency and solidarity”.