Pain when I try to improve my life

Hey guys,

I made a realization while journaling the other day and I was interested in knowing if anybody else had similar experiences. I have noticed that I mainly get pain when I try to do something that advances my life or makes me happy, and that my TMS almost manifests itself in a way in which it is trying to inhibit me from becoming a better person, in the sense that I am my own biggest enemy. Common times where the pain will occur are when I'm playing piano/guitar, walking, working, meditating... Any time I'm not lying down watching Netflix!

I'm really interested in knowing if someone else has experienced something similar, so let me know.

 

I have had that happen! I thought I was the only one.

Just having the realization of that is a good step towards getting over it. I am actually going through a flare right now after being deemed Recovered by my TMS therapist. (I just posted about it.)

It's your brain's way of stopping you to 'keep you safe'. Your subconscious sees any desire for change as a threat. Know that being happy or making positive changes in your life is a good thing, a safe thing, should help.

 

Same here, alternating between having a great time and flare ups like that.

 

Yep! Been battling this for a few months. Have days where I can do more physically and then for another few or a week, its a struggle. I just keep telling myself that I’m moving forward, body ain’t gonna stop me. Subconcious isn’t either!

 

Yes. Just had one of my first mini-relapses in a long time when I decided to expand my world and work harder towards a goal. I am pretty sure it was because the little kid in there was comfortable and doesn't like all of the scary unknown.

I actually discussed it with my Md. and he said I HAD to push through it or I would always be angry with myself (more TMS)... He was right...and it has gone away

 

Similar has happened with me.

When I take steps to better myself -- I feel worse somehow. I feel bad, or unhealthy, or hurt.

I have come up with an alternate theory for this;

My body exists in a unique state of balance. When I disturb this balance by doing healthy things, my body doesn't like it. Like, when every piece is in the wrong place but it still works... you put one piece in the correct place and everything disintegrates.

I quit eating fast food a decade ago. When I did this, I got stomach issues that lasted for 2 years.

The TMS model would say I had emotions about doing this.

The concept I came to value says my microbiome was used to the unhealthy food, and by changing it to healthy food, it caused disruption.