Repression

If repressed emotions are the crux of my pain, then how do I un-repress them?


It’s the classic Catch 22 really. Repressed means that you don’t KNOW you’ve repressed them and yet, you’re expected to go “examine” them, “sit with” them, “lean in” and all the other phrases that get thrown about in this crazy work we call TMS healing. Sigh. It’s confusing. I’m three plus years pain free and I can still find repression confusing. So here’s some practical advice that will hopefully bring you some peace. Searching and questing for the one important repressed emotion or event will leave you extremely frustrated. You can stop that pursuit now. Just lay it right down.


What DOES help is the awareness that we all repress constantly. Give the gift of knowledge to yourself that we all repress because we ALL feel emotions that we deem as unacceptable. Here is a very real example of repression in action. Several years ago, as I was just beginning my awareness of accepting my own emotions, I went on a trip to NYC. Now, I LOVE NYC. It’s by far and away my very favorite city. And I was having a great time, walking all over, carrying shopping bags, standing for long stretches, riding subways, all pain free...until one afternoon, I walked by a homeless person sitting and begging for money. I did not give him money. About ten minutes later, I noticed that my back was killing me. Now, of course, this was when I was new to the work so started blaming the shopping bags, or the standing….until I remembered to “think psychologically.” Which means...what were my thoughts prior to the start of the pain? Well, I had seen the homeless guy. So I started on examining my emotions here. I was sad that there was homelessness, sad for his life, worried for him, ashamed of my shopping and I hadn't given anything to him, ashamed of my privilege, angry that the social services have failed him, angry that he was blocking the sidewalk, angry that he intruded into my great time with his pitiful situation...oh god...how horrible of a person am I to be angry at the homeless guy for intruding on my happiness? And there we have the real repression. As a goodist, I don’t want to see myself as selfish, judgmental or petty. And yet, I do experience those emotions. Unwinding our innate need to see ourselves in a favorable light by repressing what does not fit with this mental image takes time and practice. It takes brave willingness to see all our bits and parts and the knowledge that EVERYONE has these same emotions. It takes authentic acceptance that we may never see all that we repress, but just knowing that it is safe to do so allows full healing of mind/body symptoms. www.pathsbeyondpain.com