Day 16 Sharing TMS Diagnosis

I honestly haven't really told anyone about my TMS diagnosis. My therapist probably knows the most about the diagnosis and the work I am doing because she was trained with Alan Gordon. My immediate family and partner know bits and pieces about the diagnosis and work I am doing to try to get myself out of pain. I honestly just never want to bring it up because it is so hard to describe and I think some part of me believes that people don't really care. I mean, friends will ask how my pain journey is going and I usually just say okay because I don't want to bombard them with everything TMS related that they would need to learn to understand what I am really going through. I sent my partner and my parents an article from Day 2 of this program that I really thought was helpful but there was not much discussion afterwards. I just don't want to come across as this sad girl that has pain that makes no sense. I don't want to be vulnerable about my pain and I don't want to be treated with pity. My partner really doesn't know too much about it even though we live together and I do wish that he would ask more questions about how and why I am doing the educational program for TMS. I don't want my friendships to be based off of this, I want them to be based on fun, regular things. However, I can see how this is super isolating and have experienced feeling extreme loneliness in the last couple of years. I almost feel like I have to put on a front when I am with friends or family, but then also feel a gap in our relationship because we don't discuss TMS, which is a huge part of my life.

 

I've been doing this work since 2011, and the way I have always talked about it is to simply say something along the lines of "I've been treating my physical issues as coming from stress and emotional pain, and it completely changed my life for the better". If they want to know more, they'll ask. If they don't, who cares? A few times I have been pleasantly surprised to find that someone will be quite familiar with some aspect of emotional self-care, and we can share our experiences and resources. One of my oldest CPA friends (twenty+ yrs) it turns out, has been in therapy for years - I never even knew until a couple of years ago when we started spending more time together in our semi-retirements. She doesn't follow Dr. Sarno, but she is completely on board with the mindbody connection and now we can support each other when we're going through a rough patch. I've even done this in casual conversations with strangers - during a one-time volunteer event I said something to another volunteer who was talking about her physical problems (during a break) and she was immediately interested, and wrote down my book suggestions for Dr. Sarno and Dr. Mate.

You don't need to say much or go into any details. Confidence, positivity, and good news will create a lasting impression that may or may not lead somewhere else. You never know!