ANGER

How do we get in touch with our true anger... i know what i am angry at conciusly ....i have self talked journaled but i cant seem to reach the true anger that is causing my pain. Need help on this on tms family

 

good question........if our anger/rage, etc is unconscious how do we figure out what it is?

 

Maybe if it's at a person you need to address it to that person and hold nothing back!

 

true Markus but what does one do when you cannot think of any reason/person/event that you've experienced that may still be hiding in your unconscious? I don't feel like I need to rip anyone a new one, at least not that I 'know" of.

 

but thats the anger i am aware of?

 

also you need to ask yourself ....how does that service me?

 

I don't know, maybe we need to acknowledge it and forgive it, let it go. I don't always think things that are repressed can be uncovered! They can be acknowledged!

 

I agree with Markus. These two quotes sum it up so well.

"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Buddha

"Anger cannot be overcome by anger. If someone is angry with you, and you show anger in return, the result is a disaster. On the other hand, if you control your anger and show its opposite – love, compassion, tolerance and patience – not only will you remain peaceful, but the other person's anger will also diminish." Dalai Lama

 

isnt that REPRESSION

 

I knew you were going to ask that lol, this is a really great article from heallovebe.com

We cannot overcome anger and hatred simply by suppressing them. We need to actively cultivate the antidotes to hatred: patience and tolerance…When we are engaged in the practice of patience and tolerance, in reality, what is happening is you are engaged in a combat with hatred and anger.”

“I believe that generally speaking, anger and hatred are the type of emotions which, if you leave them unchecked or unattended, tend to aggravate and keep on increasing. If you simply get more and more used to letting them happen and just keep expressing them, this usually results in their growth, not their reduction. So, I feel that the more you adopt a cautious attitude and actively try to reduce the level of their force, the better it is.”

“Feelings of anger and hatred arise from a mind that is troubled by dissatisfaction and discontent. So you can prepare ahead of time by constantly working toward building inner contentment and cultivating kindness and compassion. This brings about a certain calmness of mind that can help prevent anger from arising in the first place. And then when a situation does arise that makes you angry, you should directly confront your anger and analyze it. Investigate what factors have given rise to that particular instance of anger or hatred. Then, analyze further, seeing whether it is an appropriate response and especially whether it is constructive or destructive. And you make an effort to exert a certain inner discipline and restraint, actively combating it by applying the antidotes: counteracting these negative emotions with thoughts of patience and tolerance.”

“Since patience or tolerance comes from an ability to remain firm and steadfast and not be overwhelmed by the adverse situations or conditions that one faces, one should not see tolerance or patience as a sign of weakness, or giving in, but rather as a sign of strength, coming from a deep ability to remain firm. Responding to a trying situation with patience and tolerance rather than reacting with anger and hatred involves active restraint, which comes from a strong, self-disciplined mind.”

“I think that there is a very close connection between humility and patience. Humility involves having the capacity to take a more confrontational stance, having the capacity to retaliate if you wish, yet deliberately deciding not to do so. That is what I would call genuine humility.”

 

If I really peel back my anger to see it in its most basic form, it usually comes down to a conflict between the id and super ego. My id wants something that my super ego thinks it shouldn't want or have. Or the super ego thinks the id should just be silent and behave, and the id is pissed off about this.

 

This may be too much of an academic lecture, so don't bother with it if you are not inclined. I hear a lot of uncertainty on this forum in the matter of how to access the unconscious, especially given that it is NOT CONSCIOUS!
The ego-id-superego trilogy is a construct. The model of the unconscious is Freudian, and a true Freudian would say that dreams are the royal road to the unconscious. Free association and analysis in the classical sense have been modified over several generations. The cognitive paradigm is a different construct. When we hear about "self-talk" and faulty thoughts we are not in the psychoanalysis world, we are in the CBT world. Then there are humanist theories that hold that awareness of the inevitability of death is the human dilemma.
These approaches have been woven into each other over time.

There is not a simple way to uncover "unconscious anger." The analytic way is free-association in the presence of a neutral analyst who clarifies and interprets. CBT folks will focus on changing thoughts, a conscious process. Humanist--I don't know--'maybe we just acknowledge our fate.

Beyond these schools of psychology, there is the interaction of bio-psycho-social: how the physical realities shape and are shaped by social and psychological settings. I think TMS is bio-psycho-social in cause and effect.

For me, it helps to know that my body/brain has the capacity to heal itself.