Brecht

Hello dear people, I'm Brecht. I have been happily married for 12 years and now have 2 children aged 6 and 8. I am a teacher in a special education school. For the past 10 years, I've spent my free time remodeling our house, trail running, and running marathons. In 2019 and 2020 I regularly suffered from sore throats that sometimes lasted for 2 months, but I did not know where they came from. In March 2020 I ran 55 km and in May 42 km. On the way my ankle snapped, but I bit through. After this marathon I decided not to run anymore because of my sore ankle. This one remained quite painful and I was disappointed. I could no longer walk, no longer go to nature. That summer we were going to the Pyrenees and I wanted to climb a summit. It would be a trail run of 25 km and over 3000hm. The doctor advised against it, but I did it anyway. In March 2020 (when I ran the marathon) the covid time started. At first we didn't know what was happening, but soon our neighbor got infected and ended up in a coma. His life hung by a thread. We loved our neighbor and suddenly he was almost gone. It was an exciting time and luckily he recovered. But I was shocked and we followed the rules very hard. With 2 small children and a full-time job, that was not easy. We took care of our children ourselves because we didn't want to infect anyone. In hindsight, the rules were absurd and unfeasible for families with small children. But we did it anyway and followed the rules closely. In September 2020, full corona period, my chest and throat started to bother me more and more and had to get tested for covid every time because I'm a teacher. It was a terrible time, I was afraid of infecting others and we were afraid of being infected. I tested negative 3x so it wasn't covid.
In October I got a really bad sore throat and I couldn't speak because it hurt so bad. The doctor drew blood and tested me for mononucleosis. That was positive. The doctor told me that I should rest well and that after 2 to 3 months it would be better. But it didn't get better, the pain didn't go away. I started to panic more and more and in January I was advised to see a therapist. I went to the therapist but felt like a loser, failed. I wanted to do everything to recover, so I read 12 books, started meditating, ate healthy. I didn't know how to understand the pain. Can I exercise now or should I listen to my body and lie on the couch. The physiotherapist advised me to move to the border. But what is the limit? I was always in pain. And so I struggled on. In June I decided to go back to work, but at night I woke up with a lot of pain. I nearly passed out and we decided to go to the hospital for a full check-up. It hadn't happened until then, because my GP was sure it was a mental problem. But I couldn't understand that. How could a mental problem cause physical pain. Stress, what is that? Nothing was found in the hospital. I was disappointed, because then the problem could be solved. Now it seemed to me to be much more difficult... In the meantime I decided to go back to work part-time in September. I read a Dutch book about Dr. Sarno and it fascinated me. I am now listening to podcasts by Nicole Sachs, Dan Buglio and especially The Mind and Fitness Podcast by Eddy Lindenstein I really like. I find confidence in it, hope and with Eddy I feel a connection. Finally a (young) man who loved sports. I recognize myself in his story. Meanwhile I still have pain in my throat, chest and meanwhile also stomach... I feel like I've lost everything, my sport, my dream to become a gardener, a carefree (pain-free) life, my strength, ... I stay find solutions, but find it really very difficult. I also feel alone here in Belgium, because I have the feeling that there is little suitable help tailored to sporty men?