kindlethelight

Hi all,
I have had migraines on and off for years. I have never taken any prescription drugs, just over the counter stuff. Which usually don't do a great job but I didn't want to depend on drugs for pain relief. Over the years I have cut out many foods and curbed many activities for fear of causing more pain. Then I started to get upper back pain, that would lead to neck pain and into migraine. I came across Sarno and Ozanich's books and have begun a healing journey that, I must say, is difficult. Difficult in terms of facing the feelings, thoughts and emotions that the pain has distracted me from.
And the main one is rage. Rage from being 'goodist'. Rage from being a perfectionist. Rage from abandonment at infancy. Rage from neglect in childhood. Rage from abuse in childhood. Rage from having a very mentally sick mother. Rage from an un-protective father. Rage that I constantly make sure everyone else is ok. It's only really in the last year or so that I have begun to check in with myself to see if I am ok. Things rattle me. Harsh lights. People fighting. Tension in the air. Loud noises. And I beat myself up because of these sensitivities. I tell myself I am weak. I am only beginning to know what being gentle with myself is like. I am still learning how I can be gentle with myself and at the same time, show up for life and for myself. I used to think being gentle with myself was to stop exercising when I felt pain, to lie down when I felt tension in my body, to hide from life. I DON'T WANT TO HIDE FROM LIFE ANYMORE. I DON'T WANT TO HIDE BEHIND PAIN.
I have TMS. And now, from joining this forum, I have support.
Because I cannot do it alone. I need help and support and encouragement and success stories and advice and tips and a pat on the back to help me along this journey.
Thanks