MarkV

My saga began in the Emergency Room. The day before, in my office while at work, I began having uncontrollable muscle spasms in my upper left arm. The spasms continued through the night but I was more confused than concerned as the spasms weren’t painful. However when I reached for the alarm clock in the morning after a sleepless night, I felt a jolt of pain reverberated through my entire left arm. This would be the last time for the next two years I would even attempt to fully extend my arm…
My insurance carrier diligently asked a few questions when I called them after struggling to get out of bed. They had never seen me as I was in the best shape of my life and for years hadn’t seen a doctor. But because I had had blood clots 17 years ago in that same arm, my HMO took precautionary measures to mitigate risk and instructed me to go to the ER.
By the time I strolled into the ER, my arm was fully symptomatic. It throbbed, ached and felt compressed, as if a doctor cranked up a blood pressure cuff too tight without any release. My arm was cradled against my chest, as if in an imaginary sling. I was shell-shocked but still in denial, dressed in my suit thinking I will be back in the office after this minor inconvenience.
Due to my history with blood clots (which I fully recovered from 15 years ago with no further incident), the focus of the diagnostic tests in the ER were vascular related. Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) and Thoracic Outlet Syndrome (TOS) were identified as causes for my symptoms and much discussion took place about a First Rib Removal surgery to alleviate compression. I went into panic mode -just 24 hours ago I was the healthiest guy on the planet! -and now we were discussing getting cut open and an extended hospital stay. My arm flared up even more, as if shock waves of electric currents were running through my veins.
Thankfully, after six hours of discussion, cooler heads prevailed and the chief vascular surgeon sent me home with an aggressive dosage of blood thinner. I was free to live another day, but unknowingly on a slippery slope into a downward spiral.
My life became a revolving door in the healthcare system: in and out of doctor’s offices and daily blood test checks at the hospital. My mental psyche became preoccupied -obsessed! - with all the medical activity, especially as I had never really experienced any alarming health care in my 45 years. Work became increasingly difficult due to a combination of pain and lack of mental focus. My morning gym routine came to a grinding halt and I disconnected from friends and social groups. My world was becoming smaller, allowing me (to my detriment) to focus even more on my affliction. I continued to deteriorate and, at the advice of my GP, protected my arm in a sling. Now I looked injured and felt handicapped - a psychological disaster - and referred to my condition as a bird with a broken wing.
My entire upper left quadrant - neck, shoulder, back, chest, arm - continued to tighten up and compress to the point that I could not raise my arm at all or even brush my teeth without cringing in pain. I was in pain 24/7 and new habits formed. I would only hold my Starbucks cup in my right hand and reach over with my right arm to close my car door; I could not sit or lay back comfortably so would crawl in bed to lie on my right side; Constantly sleep deprived, I was not able to function well during the day. Mercifully, my company relieved me on a personal leave of absence (subsequently LTD).
I saw every type of specialist, who admirably ordered every imaginable diagnostic test multiple times over the months: 3 MRIs, 4 XRays, 4 Doppler Ultrasounds, 2 Nerve Conductions, 2 Electromyograms (EMG) and even had trigger point injections. Nothing identified and nothing worked. My blood thinned out so I went off blood thinners. But the pain continued. After literally exhausting their entire medical staff --25 doctors in all and every conceivable specialty- and two more trips to the ER, I felt Western Medicine had failed me. No one could diagnosis my mystery pain or the cause of my symptoms. I had doctors literally wave their arms up in the air like white flags, including one doctor who prescribed a “Chronic Pain Support Group” within five minutes of reviewing my file and barely even looking at me. This loss of hope only compounded the throbbing in my arm even more.
I turned to alternative treatment options: Chiropractors, Acupuncturists, Energy Specialist, Physical Therapists and Massage Therapists - all of whom were helpful but only offered short term relief. I’m an eternal optimist but psychologically I fell further into a deep black hole. When at the end of my rope at almost two years at struggling with this unidentifiable pain, I met an incredible Rolfer who helped me make tremendous strides in my recovery. Ironically, during my twelfth visit, he casually mentioned a fascinating book which he credited with having lost many clients to since Rolfing predominantly treats back pain: “Healing Back Pain” by Dr. John Sarno. And that was the pivotal time when I began my journey into discovering TMS and turning the final corner…
Please note: This is not a diatribe against my HMO or even Western Medicine, but simply a synopsis of what I’ve endured these past two years. The only comment I will add is that no practitioner ever asked what was going on in my mind!