Peggy

Hello to all you fellow tms non-sufferers:

I had a sore back for a year and then my hip got sore. I had x-rays which didn’t show anything wrong with the hip. I was told that it was tight muscles (like my back – coincidentally?) The physiotherapist told me my hip was out by ½ an inch. One hip was ½ inch higher than the other. I did a lot of physio for my back and hip. I was doing an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon. It got me functioning a little more. After doing this for a while (about a year) I decided to start going to the pool. I started pool walking for only 20 minutes at a time. I had worked all the way up to 30 minutes of pool walking (oh my frail body!). I was also doing physio during this time. And this was all pre-tms. Then after 2 weeks I was at the grocery store and I pivoted wrong (back then I assumed there was a wrong way to piviot). And I felt a pull in my hip, and then my back. I made it out of the store and got home. My back was very sore for about a month. I didn’t leave the house for that month except to go to physio and chiro (so yes, I was capable of leaving the house, but I could only go where I wanted to go.) This new injury got me thinking about a way out. I had tried all the conventional things, you know, the things that you’re supposed to do, the things that gain cultural acceptance. Also, I was aware that my family thought I was trying, even though it seemed like I was just going through the motions most of the time. I had also tried a lot of unconventional techniques, as I am trained in a healing technique and had been for many years prior to my injury. I believe this training kept my spirits up (maybe spiritually, but not so much physically) while I waited to figure something out to get better.
I had come to feel that going to the chiro and physio were mostly social interactions, which I did need as I wasn’t doing anything else. I watched a lot of youtube videos during that month, gurus talking, reflexology points, etc., then I found Dr. Sarno’s video on 20/20. Then it all changed. I got the book in 3 days. I released a lot of emotions that first week. Then I decided it was time to start back to the pool again. I need some help from the tms forum, particularly, Herbie, Forest and Tennis Tom. On a phone call one night in the call in discussion group Herbie reminded me to tell myelf that I can’t hurt myself doing this exercise. (note to self or anyone else who is reading this: If you believe you can’t hurt yourself doing an exercise, maybe you won’t, it’s a risk I had to take). Tennis Tom said something like, go to the pool, put on a floatation belt, and give’er. I was grateful for the support.
I wasn’t sure I could stop my beloved PT. But I was convinced. I said to myself, it won’t hurt to not do PT for one day, while I try new activities, and then I said the same thing to myself the next day and so on. Now (7 months later) I lane swim about 50 minutes a day, 5 days a week. It has brought me confidence in other areas of my life as well. The reality is, you don’t have to do it all at once. You can build your confidence as you increase the amount of time you do your activity. For example: I was difficult for me to stand and prepare any amount of food. 1 minute or 5 minutes. When I got the book I decided I was going to try to stand while I prepared food. So I stood, only a small amount of time. I was frustrated to I went to me room and release emotions. Then I would go back and try it again. I was only doing a bit at a time, and being gentle with myself during this process while building up my time.

PT (I am also going to put chiro and massage in this category) got me feeling partially better so I would try going to the pool the first time. But it wasn’t dealing with the emotional issues hence the re-injury. I would call it a serious re-injury because I was going to stop going to the pool and I knew I had to figure out something new before I went back. You see, that’s what’s wrong with not doing the emotional work, or not following tms recovery, you don’t know what went wrong and you don’t know how to get over your new injury. I think Dr. Sarno’s technique of getting people to heal themselves by doing emotional work and positive self-talk is revolutionary. It brings healing to the everyday person, in everyday language. You don’t need any special training, you don’t have to hire someone to help you, and it is rather instantaneous.

I still have much to learn, especially in the area of anxiety, as I feel that is the mother of all the problems I have or had, but I am learning to deal with the pain and emotional issues day by day.

Happy day!