Terry

I write this to express my gratitude, to people I have never met and who never knew I lived. I am indebted to all the men and women who contributed their stories and the observations to the TMS Wiki.

I am a 66 year old man. I had always enjoyed good health, except for what I now know to have been minor episodes of TMS. At the beginning of this year I began to suffer lower back pain. The pain appeared to resolve itself two or three times, but always returned. By comparison with the suffering endured by others my suffering was not great. I could walk on flat land. I could sleep. But I was being drained by the constant low level pain. Worse I was growing depressed because I looked ahead to a limited life without travel, without hiking and without being able to clean my own house. I have no idea why I place such great store in this last activity, but I do.

The only prospect offered me by standard medicine was learning to live a constrained life taking anti-inflammatory drugs. The nadir came when I was watching a TV program about the California coast and I broke down crying thinking I would never be able to walk those golden hills again.

As summer began another recrudescence of pain coincided with a period a period of emotional stress and anger. I could observe my back tightening by the hour. I was not so blind that I couldn’t see the causal connection.

I went on the internet to find out about the psychological causes of back pain. I found little, but what I found was enough. I read Dr. Sarno’s book “Healing Back Pain” and did the 42 day Wiki recovery program online. I am not a social networker and I don’t have a Facebook page. I made no posts on the website. Still I learned and I took the lessons to heart.

What I discovered about myself was nothing unique; suppressed anger. In my case the anger was deepened by my awareness that time in this little life was running out.

I cannot proclaim a final, definitive, triumph over all symptoms. Perhaps that would be pride and I fear pride brings on misfortune. Besides, minor episodes of pain continue. The important thing is that I am doing all the things I want to do, including cleaning the house, and I have great hope for the future. For that I am grateful to each person who posted a comment or wrote an article for the wicki. Keep it up you are doing good in the world that you can’t always even know about.