Gini

After falling on some stairs years ago in my 20's I statred to have low back and right hip pain. Was diagnosed with misalignment in the low back. This was on and off for years, but not a big deal. When it would flare up I'd get relief through chiro adjustments, massage, physio or energy work etc.

Then about 6 1/2 years ago I had a stressful shock event and a couple of days later my low back and hip were worse than I had experienced ever before. I thought it was emotional/energetic so I left it to heal on its own, but after 3 months I went to a chiropractor who does Trigenics (myneural type pressure points to get the brain and muscles communicating again). This actually helped quite a bit, but of course didn't last.

Then 6 months later I experienced what some call a 'dark night of the soul' where I plummeted into an accelerated, intense emotional purging where all my childhood stuff came flooding up and out (and I had previously done counseling, energy work, meditation etc. and thought most of my past was healed). I experienced strong fear and anxiety and my back completely seized up. This went on for two years to the point where I was so exhausted and afraid to move (for fear I'd hurt my back more) that I became not only housebound, but bedroom bound for months (bizarre, I know!).

Thanks to a spiritual counsellor and Chi Kung teacher, I got back on my feet and out of the house 8 months later. From there it has been a journey of overcoming my fears about moving my body, as well as easing anxiety from the dark night experience. Gradually my energy and mobility have improved. Doing an open focus style meditation and brain exercises has helped a lot, but reading Sarno's books has helped even more.

For me the issue is still fear. some days i feel confident and I get out and go for walks, attend some social events, and am looking forward to working again one day, but I still need to lie on my side, more than sit. When I check in with my back and hips to see what I'm feeling, the message I get is that this area still doesn't feel safe - this may be still old childhood stuff or it may be a neural pattern in my brain where my mind's 'danger' signal is still turned on. I'll find out as I go through this 42 day program. I'm determined to be totally pain free and mobile doing all the things I love as soon as possible!

I'm adding a final note to my story as it's been a while since I first wrote this. Doing neuroscience type mindfulness practices has eased my anxiety to practically nil! And doing somatic movement exercises has eased the tension in my body so I can go for long walks now, sit and stand for long periods too. My energy is much better also.

I'm grateful to this site as it inspired me to keep moving forward on my mental, emotional, spiritual and physical journey to health and freedom ❤.