Shelly

I am 52 years old and have an adult lifetime history of "musculoskelatal" chronic pain issues, beginning with what I thought was pain caused by falling off of horses or out of apple trees as a child. For years (starting at age 17) I would periodically suffer excruciating, disabling pinched nerves in my neck, migraines, pulled muscles, and in more recent years rheumatoid arthritis that didn't make sense, back pain, reflux, dizziness that can't be addressed, tinitus, and probably things I've forgotten. Just recently (Late last summer 2012) my back went out and didn't heal. I went to the Doctor several months into the pain and underwent "yet another" MRI (I should be glowing green) and was told I had four degenerative disks; L2,3,4 and S1. I already have a fusion and disk replacement from 15 years ago between C5 and 6. It was recommended that I had 3 choices; physical therapy, injections or surgery. I chose to do more research first. Thank Goodness!

My condition started to worsen. At the time I visited the doctor I had no pain in my leg. Today, the pain is hideous sciatic pain but oddly enough I don't feel the pain in my back anymore. When all of this started, there was a spot so tender on my back that I would cry out in pain if anyone touched it. I attributed the change to the sciatic pain just being worse than my back pain, therefore I wasn't aware of my back pain presently. The sciatic pain happens when I first sit down from standing, or when I first stand from sitting. If I stayed in either position I would be spared, but who can do that. I sleep in a fetal position but last night even that was rough until the pain relaxed. Now my foot is feeling numb when I initially stand. All of it works it's way out in 5-10 minutes and then I'm okay until I have to change position again. It's terribly fearful knowing I have to face the pain to get up or sit down again. I can't stay on my feet either or it's REALLY BAD when I finally sit or lie down. Going to bed at night is a horrible thing.

I have toughed it out because of other health issues, I have been on a very healthy regime for the last two years. I eat extremely well, I limit all chemicals and preservatives from my diet. I didn't want injections or anything else invasive in my body. I was determined to find a way to fix this without yet another medical procedure that feels wrong in my logic. There's a lot more to this story, but it could be just too long for anyone to read, i.e. several years battle with what I was told was Rheumatoid Arthritis, despite the fact that my Rheumatoid factor was only elevated 7 points above normal and 7 years taking Nexium for GERD. My arthritis behaved as if it was alive. One day it was in my knee, the next day in my foot, then in two of my toes, then in my fingers, then in my elbows, then in my shoulders. I could tell it was running from me. It felt more like a being living in my body that was traveling here and there. My Doctor sent me to a podiatrist when it was in my foot, who told me I had Planar facitis and sold me a $100 brace. I wore the brace one day and the pain moved again.

A friend recommended I read Dr. Sarno's book, "Healing Back Pain" and I thought for sure he was writing that book with me as the poster child. I finished reading it a few days ago and did not experience the overnight healing so here I am, looking for more information as I wait my subconscious out to get the message.

I really need this resource. Some days I just sit down and cry at the thought of another day like this. I don't know how to ignore this pain. Laughing it off is easier said than done. I'm exhausted, I'm brave, I'm scared, I'm tough, I'm determined, I'm alone... Family is sympathetic, but I even repress the pain to spare them living with me never feeling well and I know that...

The oddest part of all this is - I feel like "for certain" that my body is healthy. Who would believe me when I say that, as I drag my leg behind me or cry out in pain or can't sit on a hard chair.

Now I understand... Dr. Sarno understands...
I'm happy to have found this community.