justin1994

I've been a guitar player for 15 years now, playing heavily and performing from a young age. I pursued music in CEGEP (college type deal in Montreal). Almost 3 years ago I was practicing really hard and trying to meet my teachers standards. I felt stressed, burnt out but in love with the drive and even the rush that came with it. I started to feel pains in my neck and arm but I figured this was due to bad posture. I let it go for a few months until one day I woke up with shooting pains in my arms. This began the journey of seeing an Osteopath, Physiotherapist, massage therapist, Doctors, Acupressure etc. Most of them gave results but it was hard to say. The pain moved to both arms, and started to transform. I discovered that it may be Epicondylitis, Tendonitis, Carpal Tunnel but my therapists assured me it was a tension problem (perhaps they are right). I finally did an ultrasound and found no tear to my tendon, but inflammation on both sides of my elbow and on both arms. This was 2 months ago. Just before then and after that point, I have felt horrible and defeated. I stopped playing completely for 4 weeks. This proved to help by the 3rd week once I got over the guilt and hurt not playing/working costed my pride. But I also started feeling better about the time I finished reading the Mindbody Prescription. Since then I've been up and down but have resumed my regular life slowly. I've been doing tons of research and learning such interesting and beautiful things about the mind but I am far from healed.
Upon playing guitar again, I have pain. Almost as much as before... but it will go away with time. I can't help but fear there is something physically wrong or something I'm doing wrong technically but I've made the evidence sheets and everything points towards TMS. I supposed since my TMS discovery I've felt better but it's hard to say why exactly that is. It is hard to keep hope on the fact that I will beat the pain by following the long process of healing the mind but in the meantime the pain scares the hell out of me and makes me so doubtful that I regress. Patience...