EmmaB

My body feels engulfed in flames. I have had chronic pain since I was 13 years old (am now 67). It has gotten progressively worse, has affected various body parts, and has resulted in four surgeries, the last of which was bilateral total knee replacements a year ago. Following my surgery, I complained to a friend that I wasn't recovering as I had hoped and she told me her son, a clinical psychologist, was now specializing in treating pain. This led me to Dr. Sarno's and several other helpful books that I read voraciously, recognizing myself on every page, as so many others have written. (Dr. Frances Sommer Anderson and Dr. Eric Sherman's book, Pathways to Pain Relief, was particularly helpful.) I thought about the onset of my various problems and realized that each was associated with a traumatic loss and painful transition. I also noticed that if I imagined my pain as a big dog clamping down on a body part and then told it to let go and let blood flow, the pain resolved. This was enough to convince me that painful feelings I did not want to acknowledge or experience and personality characteristics typical of TMSers had brought me to this point. At the time, I happened to be on a trip with one of my kids and he was very encouraging about taking this approach to treating my pain. I began to write in my "book of rage" and I talked to him about what I was discovering. Thankfully, he was willing to listen - (it wasn't that long a trip!) -- and I was making progress. After returning home, however, I got off-track (sneaky brain!) and pain has returned with a vengeance. Clearly, it's time to begin again....