4 Months pain and disability free ... not anymore

Well, it's been 4 moths since I started my Sarno Journey. I have been pain and disability free for 4 months. That hasn't happened since I had my injury in 2014. I was so happy living life again like a normal person, unafraid of pain, knowing it was all psychological.

Welllpppp, that all came to a screeching halt last Monday. I had a job interview after being out of the work force for YEARS due to my "injury". Well, I bit the bullet and interviewed even though I had so much anxiety and fear and didn't want to make myself vulnerable knowing I didn't have full credential for the position. (Side note, I had been volunteering for this organization for 6 months and they asked me to apply to the position.)

Moving along, I interviewed with the manager then went on to interview with the COO. I was dying of anxiety and was having so much negative thinking about myself. Fast forward to last Monday I did not get the job, and I hated the way they told me I didn't get the position also.

That same day I didn't get the job, I also had a therapy session discussing very deep issues I have with my family. When I got home that afternoon a couple hours later my back went completely out! I went crooked! Something I hadn't experienced in months. I know it's all due to me failing at getting the job and my perfectionism, and discussing the deep painful issues I have with my family, but being disabled and in pain again is just so so so so so so so so so so so so so so depressing. I feel like it's my fault as well for stopping my journaling and all my good practices since I thought I was doing much "better." TMS has reared its ugly head once again and it makes you feel so so weak.

 

i'd start off by soothing yourself and reminding yourself that it's just TMS and you will knock it back again. there's no need thinking all catastrophic. re-assure yourself that you will be fine. this is just a setback.

 

I agree with @PainNoMore, this is nothing more than a knock back and a flare-up. We all have them and while they can be incredibly demoralising they do give you the opportunity to fine-tune your healing practices and ground ever more deeply into the beliefs and behaviours that best support and nurture you.

Not getting the job is disappointing especially given that you were encouraged to do so. To be told in a way that salted the wound is also painful. Perhaps this is an invitation to examine your loyalty to the organisation. There are many, many places that need kind-hearted souls to help them. We fare best and flower when our contributions are acknowledged and appreciated.

This depression will pass, as will the awful TMS symptoms. Give yourself the time you need to process this stuff then saddle up the horse and go again. You've beaten TMS once and you shall do again.

Be compassionate with yourself and celebrate the fact you were courageous and went for it. Sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to, and this is ok because it leaves us open and ready for the right opportunity to sweep us up and into our next amazing adventure.

Take care sweetheart, you'll come through smiling.

Plum x

 

Thank you so much for your kind, encouraging words. They mean so much!