Day 2 A little scared - I wonder if others have felt this way

I know that we really have to ACCEPT that our health problems are caused by our brains to distract us, and I do. I have no structural reason to be suffering. But, I'm scared to really really commit, in case this doesn't work. I sort of feel like I'm up against an adversary who is stronger and more competitive than I am...and who will win.
It sounds silly but is logical - what you don't try, you can't fail. I so badly want to get better but I am in such a bad place right now that I cannot imagine it would be possible and am worried that my brain is just going to up the stakes, obstinate as it is.

Today, I've had some of the pain move to my right thigh. It's never been there before and I had a little indulgent laugh at it - the way you'd laugh at a kid trying to be sneaky - but, even with this "proof", the stubborn part of my brain managed to interject the thought, "Well, that's normal, you had physio so it's probably just the effects of that".
I want to smack my brain.

 

Hi LouVes,
Yes, when I started out, I had great fears that this TMS approach would not work. I think this is normal. Most of us have been through so many treatments which didn't work. In my case I had several surgeons who were certain that my problems were physical. My advice is to try to reassure yourself, be with your fears gently, with compassion, and move forward. Remember the phrase "Don't believe everything you think!"
Andy B

 

Thank you Andy. That's really the cornerstone of it all and the crux of the problem, isn't it - believing everything we think? Very good advice that I'm going to try and assimilate.
Are you pain-free now and how long did it take you?

 

Yes, I am have gotten my life back. Went from wheel chair and crutches to skiing the mountains again, in about 4 months. I strongly urge you to not put a time frame on your work though!!! Celebrate the small steps of progress, which will come, not the end goal. I sometimes have minor symptoms, but this is normal. They don't scare me any more.

 

You're all so positive and inspirational. Thank you Andy!

 

That part of you that interjects those fear thoughts is also TMS! That’s how I like to think of it, like a separate part of me. I say something like “ no TMS that’s bullshit and makes no sense, you’re just trying to bring me back to a place of fear” , also Mindfulness : describing the pain to yourself while also saying “ you’re safe” it’s not dangerous” has helped me. Good job laughing at it! It’s the small wins that count