Day 1 A new start

My story starts three years ago this May. I've been struggling with anxiety and stress from low to chromic levels since 2010, when a natural disaster made me question everything in my life and all my failures. From that time, I developed a long list of physical symptoms that created a loop that I'm still stuck in.

Fast forward to 2018, my partner and I lost a business we had been working on for many years, and about a month or so after that, I started to develop frequent urination. Everything has seemed to snowball from there.

Quickly my symptoms starting layering with general pelvic pain, urgency, frequency, penis pain, post ejaculation pain, and I could feel myself doing an involuntary kegal (pulling up/ tensing of my pelvic floor).

I went to the doctors, antibiotics, ultrasound on my bladder and kidneys, got a diagnosis of prostatitis. Went to a pelvic floor specialist and she said my pelvic wasn't tight. I've never been so lost.

If i bring my attention to my pelvis I can release the tension, but then it with reclench once I take my mind off of relaxing it.

All these symptoms have made the last three years of my life hell. I'm afraid of peeing myself and have all the toilet anxiety now.

I also have never learned to drive and now would like to so IO can live in the mountains. But even the little gremlins in my head and telling me not to do that.

Here I am because my urination symptoms worsen with anxiety, which makes me think it's TMS.

It seems I also fit the personality of TMS.

So...here's to a better future.


What would a life without TMS mean to you?

Wow, I want to say pure peace!!! TMS is a gremlin that is with me all day, every day. That constant voice is reminding me of my symptoms and if I'm going to pee myself. Freedom from my mind and pain!!!

 

I had all these symptoms at the same time I had IBS. Now I have none of them. The post ejaculation pain I had every now and then, I really hated it when it happened because it hurt like hell and even made me cry from pain sometimes. Very strange feeling.

For me, these symptoms more or less disappeared when I ended a toxic relationship and became happier. I guess natural disaster, losing business etc can have the same effect.

What I´m trying to say is, that for me these symptoms had a pure mental cause.

 

Hedger, Many thanks for your comment. It gives me more power to feed off.

 

There isn’t a lot of you cannot control what happens to you, but you can control the way you think about all the events. You always have a choice. You can choose to face them with a positive mental attitude and that is mind over matter.