A poem about TMS

Hi everyone,

A couple days ago, I got an email from someone named James H. who had written a poem about TMS and wanted to share it. I thought I'd post his poem here. Enjoy!

Forest

I’m angry, but I don’t know why.
In so much pain that I could cry.
But I won’t - because I’m strong.
Not realizing that my thinking is wrong.

It’s so strange - the power of emotion
I feel it wash over me,
Like the sifting of the ocean.
Eroding the sands, away from my face.
The sand that was loose,
but has now taken shape.

I think I see the problem.
But it’s covered in clouds.
The winds they are a raising,
I can hear them as they howl.
My power is all gone,
When I lie and say I’m strong.
Fuck.

Then what the hell should I do?
I’m in a fog I can’t see through.
Is there an end to this pain,
I see loss, but don’t see gain,
only rain.
As I struggle,
my emotions have been muzzled.
It’s time to let them out,
But I’m scared and so I shout.
And I’m angry at my brain,
for making me feel this way.
How could you do this to me?
It’s true I feel betrayed.

But I’m sure it’s angry too,
All the pain I’ve put it through.
An internal argument,
But I now know what to do.
I have a right to be loved,
A right to be put above,
Sincerely listened to,
Without concern of being judged.

So when the pain it comes,
Do not worry, do not run.
Let it come.
Let it ride,
Let it shake upon your pride.
And know that it’s alright,
to feel this way, muscles tight
Jaw is clenched,
back is tense.
Pain is growing, so immense.

But breathe. And take a step back.
Think about the older sister that you have.
She used to called you names,
And she never apologized,
And you held in all the tears,
Never falling from your eyes.
She just wanted attention,
But it’s true, you took the toll.
And now it’s all built up,
As the sadness starts to grow.

So let it grow. Because to feel is to be strong.
To show emotion is to be human,
So cry, and move on.


My pain was at a 4 before I wrote this. Now it’s down to a 1. ​