About doubt

So I've been journaling just now and had a relevation i wanted to jot down here, so i can easily find it again.

I've read a lot of stories and threads on this forum and a thing that gets mentioned a lot when people get stuck is doubt.
That was quite reasonable to me but for some reason, trying to deal with my own doubts never seemed to do anything for me. Or rather, i could not find any doubts, since i really believe in the whole TMS-theory, mind-body-theory stuff.
Which was rather confusing to me because i tend to get stuck a lot in this healing journey, so i always attributed it to other factors (mainly my personality/perfoctionism, habits, mental strain). And they certainly do play a role here but it just clicked for me: I don't have doubts about the theories and the possibility of healing, I have doubts about which method is right for me! It seems so silly in hindsight, because i knew my perfectionism was a major hindrance which led me to switching between different methods but i never connected it to the doubts i was having.
For example: Is it really just the buried rage? Aren't there any other feelings i might have buried that contribute to this? And if i have, it's not productive to only journal about my rage (and into the thought spiral i go).
Or maybe it's also the conditioning, the anxiety, an overactive nervous system, not feeling safe in my own body... There are so many extensions of Sarno's theory and consequently so many different ways people can heal.
And that totally freaked my perfectionism out (am i doing the right thing?? What if i should do x and not y?? Better switch tactics so i don't do the wrong thing!).
And maybe i'm wrong but it just dawned on me: i don't think it matters. Even if it's not only the buried rage, even if it's everything i mentioned above combined, as long as i keep working on it i will get better.
Because the whole mind-body thing is to look at the body holistically.
So even if i just work at feeling my rage, by teaching my body it's safe to feel it, i also teach it it's safe to feel all the other emotions and additionally all the bodily sensations associated with these emotions, which will calm down my reaction to these emotions and sensations, which will tell my body that i'm safe and calm down my nervous system.

This got very long and rambly, but i wanted to articulate my thoughts so that i can find this post again when the doubts creep in. Maybe it can also help someone else.

 

Yes it's all doubt. Doubt can take on many forms and often hides behind experiences where we don't expect it. We can fall prey to new doubts because we can't see that they even ARE doubt. You articulated and caught it this time. Doubt is trying to convince you that the mind body approach is too confusing or contradictory or that you may be missing something, or doing something wrong, or making some kind of mistake. I could go on and on and on. Perfectionism and overthinking are fertile breeding grounds for doubt as they will use these habits against you. Intellectual and imaginative people tend to have the most doubt of all for that reason. In this case you had lost the doubt that you have tms and you can get better, but now you are getting into the weeds of tools, programs, and experts in the field. You're correct that none of it matters much. We are all saying the same thing so listen to and follow whoever or whatever appeals to you. All roads lead to Rome. Stick with Sarno's core precepts. Accept the tms diagnosis, lose the fear, address your emotions, and resume life (make adjustments in your day to day if necessary). It's not easy, but it truly is that simple. So stop second guessing yourself and combat self doubt with self empathy. Once the doubt is gone and the fear is very low, you can deal with triggers (if you have any) and then address the emotional themes that come up in your present day life. Start crafting a plan of what you want your life to look like now and going forward. That may include having a better relationship with yourself, letting go of perfectionist and goodist tendencies, pursuing things you never gave yourself permission to do before, finding more connection and joy etc. etc etc. When you do that you disable the tms strategy. Symptoms no longer serve a purpose. They won't be needed to distract, protect or communicate. You will be free.

 

Great insight! Not running from our negative emotions, observing and reminding ourselves we are safe are healthy behaviors. However, easier said than done, but I refuse to give up. I certainly get that overthinking and questioning if I am 'doing it right'. Hang in there!