Day 1 Acceptance and doubts

I first read Sarno's book about two years ago (I've had neck pain for four years now) and I wasn't ready to accept any of it. Things got better for me for a little while (although not gone), but after receiving a major life stressor, I was suddenly worse than ever again. I googled, "How I cured my chronic neck pain," and it brought me here.

I want to accept this. I truly, truly do. I watched the Day 1 video and read the success story, and it almost made me cry. But I worried I was like that professor brother who thinks to himself, "It must be more complicated than that!" I did, after all, read the book already and I didn't have a lightbulb moment. (I'm trying to reread it now.) Then again, I didn't like "Catcher in the Rye" the first time I read it, then years later, I thought it was wonderful. So maybe you have to be ready. I'm so scared I'll be one of the people that it doesn't help.

Reading the success stories makes me hopeful because I so badly want to be pain-free. I don't want to be thinking about my neck all the time and what will help/hurt. I won't even wear a dress because I'm worried the weight of the dress will be too much on my shoulders! I look at other people who aren't in pain all the time and feel sad that I will never be like that again. If there's a chance this could really work for me, then i want to give it my best shot.

I also see myself in Sarno's book. It fits me to a tee. My pain has moved and it doesn't really fit with my MRI report. I've always somaticized my anxiety, ever since I was in high school. Even before this all started, I used to think to myself, "I never, ever feel good." It was always something bothering me, from IBS to IC to headaches. And when my stress level is high, my pain is worse. The symptoms started when my marriage was crumbling, although I never really related it to that.... I always attributed it to lifting my daughter. My IC used to get really bad when my husband and I were fighting, and then when the neck pain started, THAT got really bad during fights. I'm in pain now, but not just that, I'm having mini panic attacks too, so I'm obviously very anxious.

As for what a life without TMS would mean to me......

I want to be able to pick up my new baby nephew without pain.

I want to be able to volunteer at my children's school without being terrified that they'll ask me to do something that will hurt my neck.

I want to be able to cook more.

I know it's probably 20 years in the future, but i want to be able to lift my grandchildren someday! If I stay on this path, I won't.

I want to be able to enjoy a dinner out with a friend without worrying neck pain will distract me.

I want to be able to an arcade with my family and be able to play the games.

I just want to be able to do activities again without having to do them while in pain! And I don't want that pain to be replaced by having to run to the bathroom to pee every five minutes either.

I'm going to try my damnedest to make this work. Thank you for reading.

 

Hi Alice,
Wishing you all the best in this journey!
I had neck pain, then shifted to shoulder and rib, and I tried all means from chiropractic, physio, ... and I am always having differences with my husband as we are totally opposite.