Day 1 Acceptance

Hi, fellow TMSers. So, Day 1 asks for my level of acceptance of a TMS diagnosis. I am half way through Sarno's 'The Mind Body Prescription', have read a couple of other mind-body medicine books - Gabor Mate and Besse Van der Kolk, am following Nicole Sachs and take part in the Curable app, but it wasn't until I'd watched Dr Sarno on the 20/20 video twice, that i realised that i hadn't fully taken on the possibility of recovery for me. When he said that '90% of people get better', i suddenly realised that could include me. It was then i realised that prior to that I had a belief that getting better was for other people, that i wasn't worthy, that i was somehow excluded from that category. But 90% is a big enough number to convince me that recovery for me is possible. It was an emotional moment, and echoed a childhood where 'good things' were for other people, they just didn't happen to us. I had believed that i wasn't working at it hard enough, that i wasn't consistent, that i wasn't sticking to the programme - do i sound like a perfectionist? I read recovery stories, but didn't expect to be 'chosen' and thought everyone else was more worthy than me - goodist at all?
As a result of this discovery, my attitude has changed. Recovery is for me. I can see how adrenal fatigue and IBS-C have kept me safe by limiting my activities and involvement in the outside world. Thanks very much, but I'll take it from here. Today i went along to a low impact fitness class - and loved it.
An extract from my journal: A life without TMS will be energised, vital, enthused, open to adventure, possibilities and opportunities. I would make plans, socialise, get involved locally, exercise, walk, explore, create, make, have adventures. My body would be at ease and harmonious. My digestion would be active and earnest. I would eat heartily and healthily without regard for diets and restrictions. I would naturally select foods that i enjoyed eating. My body would respond by letting go of fat stores, it would fuel for energy and movement. I would be authentic, contented and at ease. That's my kind of recovery - I'm in.