Age And TMS

Geez, you young people. You're out there for years, living your best TMS-free life and suddenly you're back, "just" looking for an answer to the Ultimate Question.

I mean, we know that the answer to the Ultimate Question is 42, right?

 

Sorry, @tmcquigg@gmail..com - I just couldn't help myself Seriously, welcome back

Although, 42 is a decent stand-in for a better answer (with all due credit to the brilliant Douglas Adams), because at almost 74, having been active on the forum since I was 60, I've been asking myself essentially the same thing, for the same reasons, for at least five years.

I have a lot of certainty about the mindbody genesis of many more conditions than Dr Sarno originally theorized, but when you throw aging into the mix, I do feel like it muddies the water.

I'm happy to brainstorm this topic, since you brought it up. But now I'm going to sleep on it. Maybe some of our peers in earlier time zones will comment in the meantime.

 

Indeed. That's where I fall on the spectrum. Aging ain't great, nor, as they say, is it for sissies. But it is what it is, and those who expect the worst will surely have their expectations met. So sure, I'm stiffer in the mornings, but I assume it will go away and it does, even if I have a random stress flare. I'm not happy about the sagging skin, thinning hair, or disappearing eyelashes, eyebrows, and ass, but it's not like I'm trying to impress anyone. I'm on low doses of two old-school basic medications which are doing what they should without any side effects. My new rheumatologist says that my RA is "in remission with medication" which is fine with me. I know that there are many many people with RA who are clueless about the stress source of their inflammation, who don't achieve remission on ever-changing drug regimens, and who develop multiple other syndromes that we know are TMS.

I am quite sure, as a fully-committed TMSer, that I could reduce both my blood pressure and my inflammatory markers without the meds if I meditated every day for an hour, but I've decided that the self-imposed pressure of failing to meet that goal is worse than just taking the meds. Is it ideal? That's just another word for perfect, and the more I let go of perfectionism the happier I am. The last thing anyone needs right now is unnecessary pressure.

But of course the question is how to handle the majority of people in our lives who aren't on board. We can't isolate ourselves, that's for sure - unless a particular complainer has no other socially redeeming qualities... but even then, sometimes we don't have the choice to just cut someone out of our lives.

Leading by example, as Diana says, is going to be the one thing we can always do, all of the time. After that, different people or groups call for different strategies.
Don't enable the complainers to keep complaining. Be polite, but don't engage. Give yourself permission to tune out the energy vampires if you can't totally cut them off. You can always talk about the positive effects you experience with exercise. The "Yes, but ..." responses can be counteracted with logic ("take it slow, work with a PT or trainer, something is better than nothing")
. Invite someone to exercise with you. If only one person takes you up on it, that's a win!

 

Hey there @Smokey73, it's been awhile, good to have you join the convo.

I'm with you 100%. This awareness we've been given is not necessarily a gift, and the fact of mortality for eternity is terrifying. I recall stuffing the terror down even as a kid, but it became the trigger of my TMS crisis at 60. Thankfully, one of Dr Sarno's authors in The Divided Mind listed aging and mortality as sources of repressed rage, and the light bulb went on. It's not great, but as you described, stopping to mindfully acknowledge the fear is at least a powerful tool to relieve symptoms and enjoy a better quality of life than those who are still repressing.