Day 1 Already starting to recover

Hi All,

Thank you for giving me the chance at a pain-free life.

About 2 years ago, Dr. Sarno’s work was recommended to me by a friend. At the time, I had been lying in a hospital bed with excruciating sciatica pain. On one particular night, I recall being in so much pain and agony that I — for a few moments at a time — would pray to God that I should go to sleep and never wake up. On one of the last days before being discharged from the hospital, I recall bawling in front of my parents, "I can't do this anymore... nobody knows why I'm here... I don't want to be here..." There are few feelings that come close to that of utter failure and defeat, while continuously being the victim of a merciless pain so severe that I had wished to not exist. A pain that begs for even a moment of solace...

After 15 days in the hospital, I was released home but still bed-bound for weeks. 2 steroid injections, dozens of painkillers, & 6 months of physical therapy later, I had started to seriously question the validity of these treatments... I had started to realize that these treatments were provided not as a remedy for a specific problem, but as a blanket treatment for anyone who complained of back pain. (I remember being told that I wasn't a good candidate for back surgery because a certain nerve test did not result in a cessation of pain. A week after being discharged, a second opinion at NYU revealed I had congenital spinal stenosis.) I dabbled lightly into concepts behind TMS... there did seem to be some kind of correlation between the amount of stress I experienced and the resurgence of slight back pain.

Eventually, the pain went away, but I still felt like I had learnt something from the teachings of Dr. Sarno.

This past Saturday morning, I woke up feeling fine. A few minutes later, I tried to get up and suddenly felt stuck. I quickly had to lay down and to my surprise, I was unable to move... the slightest twist or turn would result in severe pain. It is hard to describe the feeling of going from someone capable of taking care of himself to becoming someone that relies on someone for basic human needs. It is now Tuesday (3 days later), and I'm already starting to feel much better after researching, learning, accepting, and now committing to the recovery program.

I'm slowly starting to understand what TMS is, how it affects me, what my triggers are, and how to uncover my repressed emotions. Just by acknowledging that there is nothing structurally wrong with me and that the solution is psychological, I'm starting to open up and begin the process of releasing these repressed emotions and beginning to live a tension-free life. That being said, I do believe I have a lot of work to do to uncover those emotions, especially rage and sadness.

I'm excited for this journey of recovery and self-discovery, and look forward to a pain-free life.

Thank you all.