Anal Pain - Fissure, Pelvic Pain, Hemorrhoid

Hello everyone, I have posted a few times about some anal pain I am dealing with and am looking for your help / opinion.


I have had 2 hemorrhoidectomy surgeries and a laser hemorrhoid surgery which were 10/10 pain… the worse pain I’ve ever had and I feel scarred from the pain mentally. I had my last surgery 1 year ago and still experience pain although I’ve been told everything healed fine.


Currently I am working my way through the SAE program and listening to Dan Pain free you (success stories and his fast start playlist).


I am questioning how to handle a few things. I am having bad anal pain / pelvic pain. Worse during bowel movement and sitting. I recently had a colonoscopy and was told I have nothing. The thing is I have been having blood in my stool and that was a partial reason to get that looked at. Seeing the blood triggers me into thinking structural pain. On the other hand I have created my evidence list and it’s heavily pointing towards TMS. I clench my anal muscles very tight because of fear / stress. It’s hard not to think structural tho because it always feels like something is in my butt (golf ball feeling)


So my question for you all is, although I occasionally have blood (but have been checked out) how can I accept TMS vs structural pain.


Bowel movements are a trigger to my pain cycle… any recommendations for that ?


Is it possible that the TMS is causing muscle tension in my pelvis / anal area which occasionally is causing a minor fissure because how tight it is. So basically the fissure is a cause of a tight pelvic floor due to TMS and my best option is to treat the TMS to then hopefully relax the muscles to then alleviate the fissure pain?

 

"I clench my anal muscles very tight because of fear / stress."
TMS TENSION Myositis syndrome - tight muscles, tight mind.

I can tell you that I have had all sorts of feelings/sensations I attributed to "something". My brain kept searching for the physical so it totally associated these sensations with physical things. It is all tension, holding tight...and it can take time to let things go.
You might want to try Somatic Tracking (which is an Allan Gordon technique) - not when you have high pain, but just random times of the day and sense that you feel things in your body but they are normal - eg. you might be sitting down and feel this slight tingle in your feet, or the air brushing against your skin but it's not dangerous is it. Neither are the other sensations you feel. Your brain is still just making associations based on old information and your fear.
What are these fears? Are the thoughts real? Are bowel movements dangerous? Will they kill you? - nope, just anxiety. JUST ANXIETY, that's all. Isn't that a relief. Claire Weekes books instruct us in a great many methods of dealing with anxiety. One is floating - to recognize that thoughts are just thoughts. They are not truth, they aren't real - they are just the machinations of the mind. So you just let them come and go like clouds in the sky. Watch them come in, watch they dissipate and don't hang to any that don't serve you. Freakout thoughts don't serve you.

It is highly likely that a muscle tension is causing pelvic pain. A year or so ago I saw an interview with Dr. Schecter a TMS doctor who said at least 90% of patients he's seen with pelvic area symptoms have TMS. The pelvic area is one of the most common parts of our physiology that gives us the sensations of emotions.

So it's all just TMS. I understand the desperation, and the wanting to "fix" things immediately, but it can take time, patience for yourself and the process. You need to find a way to deal with your fear and anxiety as you work through the SEP. This is why many of us meditate either quietly or with movement. It helps us separate from all the busy mind and over thinking. You can find a list of resources for this time of work by clicking on my name or avatar, I have linked videos etc. for people to experiment with.

 

Thanks for replying again. Much appreciated!