Angry because I have unbearable pain

Hello,
5 years ago I started to have pain in the tendons of my knees and I went to see all the doctors possible without any structural cause being clearly identified. Subsequently, burns were added to the back, thigh and arms.
It is only for 1 month that I put a diagnosis on my problems following the reading of a book by Dr Sarno. I realized that my problems were psychological and so I listed all my repressed rages that I repeated throughout the day. But during this time, my symptoms only worsened, is it normal?
What makes me most angry is the pain itself. It is good to repeat that I am angry because I have unbearable pain that prevents me from living.
I try to feel anger and force myself to cry thinking about it? Is it helpful? Thank you

 

Dan B. says that thinking about your rage repeatedly only serves to reinforce the subconscious notion that you're in danger.

 

Why are you angry about your pain? Acceptance of what had happened to you whether it fair or not, is the beginning of healing.

 

Keep reading the book...over and over. Make lists of things you identify with...
We don't know our unconscious rages because they are 'repressed'(the words are sort of interchangeable) ...in fact , if you know about them those are you're 'perceived emotions' that Sarno explained better in 'Mindbody Prescription' than in 'Healing back Pain' which was and is my favorite text.
...In my experience those are seldom the reason for my pain. In fact, if they were I would have never been in pain because I walked around angry a LOT of the time. Some of my friends in the worst pain are cussing spitting fireballs of rage...

The perceived emotions are like the portion of an iceberg you can see, and like an iceberg, it's the part you can't see that's sinking your boat.

I don't know which book you read, But Sarno discussed this... I thought it too...but it wasn't true. My Marriage that was 'fine' was a problem. (existential terror about losing my family particularly my sons) My Job was fine..I was good at it and I liked it... but it was the problem (.. I loathed it and I worked for Satan himself and couldn't give a rats ass if the place burned to the ground) I was happy with my lot in life..that was the problem too (. I wanted to play baseball and Play music but my wifes constant needs meant I spent all day at a job I couldn't f-ing stand)

The point I am getting to is: Make a list of stuff in your life that you are totally OK with...When you find what you're really pissed about in THAT list? Then your pain will go away...and sometimes its stuff we can't do anything about and that sucks

peace

BTW.. that IS a good strategy to use when you catch yourself focusing on the symptoms, but it has to be part of a multi-pronged strategy

 

don't forget to look at the other side of the coin. if your mind/emotions have the power to cause physical pain, you also have the power to cause good/blissful feels. it's kinda like a superpower. and not just good/blissful feels - healing too

 

Hi, thanks for your answers.
I start chapter 2 of my life with TMS.
The first chapter that lasted 5 years and that made me fall to the wheelchair was a fight against anyone because I did not know what I had.
I am French and in 5 years I never had a diagnosis. This week again I consulted a psychologist who knows nothing about this "disease" which for me will become a real scourge with all the problems related to social networks in particular.
I start chapter 2 by having made a false start and I feel it physically; I thought it would be a sprint but it is a marathon that atted me and the objective is simply to be finisher.
After reading Sarno a dozen times and having gone through the forum a lot (congratulations to the angel JanAtheCPA in particular who I hope after helping so many people, will also guide me), I think I have acquired the necessary knowledge.
Beginner question: thanks to your answers I understood that pain should not be a source of conscious anger. But are the consequences of these pains (stop physical activity/ loss of autonomy/ loss of social life) anger to "declare" or do I need to focus more on the triggering events that brought me to the bottom of this hole?
Thanks

 

Doing your own 'archaeology' is probably the most important, BUT

Those need to be on any list too...especially if you've been 'robbed' of substantial time/relationships/experiences.

I used to fantasize about beating up the chubby sweaty Surgeon with bad skin who operated on me....He told me I had a "better than 90% chance of returning to work" if I did his $50k dollar surgery.. I didn't get better in his time frame (3 weeks?) and then I had a 'Less than 25% chance of ever returning to work". I am really good at math and also have a stellar memory...GRRRRR!

after reading Sarno, When I would go out for 'anger therapy ' and destroy things and rant out loud, he was always on the list.

But my relationships with my Family of origin, wife and children were more the actual cause of how I came down with TMS in the first place...not the relationships, but the unacknowledged anger around them. Like I said, this is a multifaceted issue which needs a comprehensive recovery strategy based on your specific situation...but the good news is, it works...regardless of the details that vary from person to person

 

Je suis française aussi et aussi au début du parcours. Mais je peux te dire que tout cela fonctionne, je m en rends compte déjà après deux mois du travail. Sois indifférente avec tes symptômes, détaches toi du résultat, sois honnête avec toi même en toute circonstance. Et fais toi passer EN PRiORITE. Mais ici nous sommes dans un désert hélas... Heureusement que ce forum existe.

 

J'adorerais que ce soit publié en français! Je galère en ce moment même à toutes comprendre les subtilités !

 

Good morning,
Thanks for your answers.
It’s been more than 2 months since I started the Sarno method. I think I practice the method correctly and have become a TMS expert.
My condition has only worsened. The pain has spread throughout the muscles of my body and is now accompanied by spasm. I can hardly use my arms and must lie on my back from morning to evening.
I know what’s going on, my brain just wants to keep me from thinking about my pent-up rage, and is putting more pressure on me to do that. Thinking is my only weapon and I must continue, I have no choice.
I try not to be afraid and trust the process, but this leap into the unknown is quite scary.
If you have advice on what seems normal in the process, that would reassure me. I need to be reassured.
Thanks

 

You mention this often, and I’m starting to believe you on this. But what Can you do about the stuff you can’t change?

 

@kazed — so sorry to hear you are in so much pain. Are you able to do any of the courses on this wiki?

 

It also represses the true source of your rage. It’s much more emotionally safe to be angry at current symptoms than to be vulnerable about the true source of your rage (which in many cases you really just need to acknowledge is justified and ok to feel).

What are you doing that is actually changing the stuff you can't change? Think about it?
Worrying?
Obsessing?
Letting it depress you?
Anxiety?
Stress?

How is any of those things changing what you can't control?
What are those things doing to you, and to your body?

What can you do? Use the methods that the wonderful Claire Weekes offered us! FLOAT - when the thoughts come up, let them float on by. They are THOUGHTS! They don't do anything. They don't change anything. Let them go.
What can you think about that is USEFUL? This is sometimes where meditation can come into play, or prayer, or singing a song out to the world, or sitting in nature or WHATEVER become useful - simply send out your good vibes, prayers and love into the world. That is a positive thing you can do. Does it control anything you can't control - no. Does it control anything you can control: YES! It changes your attitude, your mindset, opens the doors to creativity and possibilities and it is there that you may actually find alternatives to things you can't control.
This might sound like voodoo, but it absolutely works.
I'm living proof.
I'm still in pain, yet I am not suffering. HUGE difference.

 

[QUOTE="Cactusflower, post: 146118, member:
This might sound like voodoo, but it absolutely works.
I'm living proof.
I'm still in pain, yet I am not suffering. HUGE difference.[/QUOTE]

Beautiful! Thank you, @Cactusflower. No, It’s not voodoo. Very inspiring. ❤️

 

The entire post by @Cactusflower is brilliant, it sums up the essence of mindfulness. In addition, I would like to offer the recommendation from the Buddhist literature on what to do with the negative thoughts: acknowledge the thoughts, offer them a cup of tea and seat them in the far corner of your mind. I used this many times, and it always impressed me how the mental image of the cup of tea helped me to contain the racing mind.

 

Ha! I like this!

 

This is a pretty brilliant post, B-ball.