Angry for the first Time of my life

OMG. I'm 48 and Yesterday I told my mother "don't speak to me like that and leave my home". As usual she was like a witch but I did it.
As far as I remember she has been angry. Not me.
And now I feel so sad and my TMS brain says "you're in danger" "you're in danger" and Im fighting against culpability.
So much new things for me! I'd like to keep this rage with me, just a little. But How?

 

Emotions are not supposed to stay in you. They pass through you within a few minutes because they are nothing more than hormones.
Remember that your body continually makes hormones, so emotions can come again.
What you want to keep is the boundary you have made. You told your mother that if she speaks to you this way you will not listen to it. The key to boundaries is knowing that they change YOU (which is what you are experiencing) not the other person. You gain a sense of control.
I too am working on this, and it feels empowering! Your mind will eventually learn that creating boundaries creates a sense of internal safety, over time. At first it will feel unsafe, especially if it angers others or they leave our lives over them (abandonment). You teach your brain that living in peace is so much better than living in the chaos it has created.

 

..and don't try to rationalize it away.. a lot of modern feelgood psychology is so focused on 'positive thinking' that it is TMS Provoking.

Now, on another topic, if you're having your first one of these at 48? No WONDER you have TMS.

 

OUI! Back pain for 25 ans, 2 surgeries, pain moving all the time, I m sure now with TMS
I'M in progress. Able to Say "fuck it" and stay in bed once a week without thinking "oh if I don t make my yoga/bike/breath exercises my leg will hurt". Able to cry. Better with anxiety even if still have AD treatement. But anger IS still so inconfortable and difficult to feel, even if I know that IS the Key! I write like a child almost everyday.