Day 25 Apprehensions

Day 25 of SEP asks us to post how we're doing so far, and any apprehensions we are having. I'm still really keen on the program, but noticed lately I'm slacking off on the journaling. I feel a bit unstuck about uncovering emotions. As for pain, I have noticed that the exercise I've been fearing isn't all that co-related with my pain. Some days it is just fine; other days the pain gets worse and I would previously have been so sure that the exercise was the cause.

As for apprehensions, I worry sometimes whether the program will work for me. I am pretty confidant it is TMS, due to repressed emotions from childhood, but not I'm not always sure I can get to them. But I guess it's early days still, and these things take time.

 

Terry:

I think I am in the same place. I've got a whole lot to journal about and I am doing the work, but my pain has now spread to my hands and feet. Yes a clear sign of TMS. I simply feel that over the last four months my life has become about pain and I've lost my purpose. I am reading so books, Steve's book is great, and doing the exercise, but I've become a little pooped out. This weekend I took a break from it all even though I am terrified about the hand and foot pain.

I also found a TMS Psych and MD, so that too is making me hopeful. This is all a process and for those of us who aren't patient, usually TMS type, it can seem like a long road.

I stopped exercising last weekend because the pain in my legs became too much. That said, I am joining the YMCA this week so I can peddle on the bike and life some weights.

Hang in there.....

You can heal....

 

Hi Susan,

That is so great you've found a TMS Psych and MD. It's slim pickings for TMS people here in Australia, but I've been thinking about finding someone too. I am 100% sure I have buried emotions from a lot trauma from six to nine years old, but I've journaled it a lot both in the past and now, and have a hard time really getting to strong feelings. The best thing that is working for me is a "guardian angel" meditation where I go back to the time but with a strong and loving presence beside me to protect me and encourage me to express my emotions. But I think working with someone would be really helpful. Good luck, you sound like you are doing a great job.

 

Hi Terry,

Noticed you are based in "BrisVegas" I read somewhere of a TMS Psych in Tweed Heads? or if you are prepared to skype, Hal Greenham:

www.mindbodyhealing.com.au

in Melbourne has been very helpful to me. His TMS recovery is a blast of hope. I hope you can soon connect with the really hidden gunk....

Explorer, you and I are peas in a pod. Learn from my "crash through" force of will attitude to increased exercise... If your Body shouts, listen and back off a peg, then try again to build on as Morcomm describes as "activity Plateaus ". Don't delay on moving though or your Subconscious will smirk at ya! Hang in there Sister.

 

Terry - I had a bit of a break through last night before I went to sleep. I was not meditating just thinking about what's going on in my body and mind and why my symptoms have move to hands and feet. I know the TMS is on the run and I can feel myself healing very gradually. I am not putting a time stamp on healing. That helps a lot.

Michael:
Yes, that's a great idea. I am going to join the YMCA this week and pedal on the bikes which I think will be less painful to my thighs. There may be a few other activities I can do there as well. I used to work out almost every day and run miles without a thought. I miss the exercise and I am frustrated that fear is keeping me from it.

 

Thanks, Michael, I will definitely check that out.

Explorer, I noticed a section in Unlearn Your Pain on fibromyalgia, and I thought I remembered your asking about it specifically (sorry if I've mixed you up with someone?!)

 

Hey Terry,

Thanks! I have nerve pain more than fibro, but I have the book and just haven't gotten to it yet.

How are things with you?

Susan

 

Hi Susan,

For me with TMS there must have been a million or more diagnoses. And all of them pronounced with perfect confidence!

I'm finding Unlearn Your Pain to be good. As a perfectionist and over-doer, I have to be a bit careful to not take on too much at once, but so far so good. The main time commitment in both SEP and Unlearn Your Pain is the journaling, and UYP is pretty much the same format. There are a few more ideas there, though since I've not quite finished the SEP program I might have that wrong. I also have a tendency to read everything under the sun but forget to do the actual work ...

As for pain (sciatica), I've been doing well til yesterday. My main trigger is believing I have overextended myself physically, so I get rather confused. I'm not quite sure whether this flare up is TMS fighting back, and I should just keep on walking a la Steve O, or it's me pushing my poor self too hard to get fit, and I should just go at it a little more patiently and less like a mad perfectionist dictator. I am about to go for my morning walk, and have decided to try Option A. I'll go the same amount as yesterday, but no more, and see what happens. Wish me luck!

 

Hey Terry:

Good for you. I did the worst thing and "stopped" walking two weeks ago because my legs were screaming at me. It was just too much. Can't wait to join the YMCA tomorrow. I can swim and peddle if I can't walk. TMS does fight back! Just this week I got back pain (no pun intended), just as the rest of the pain was beginning to let up. This TMS thing is up and down with emotions as well. That said, today I feel pretty optimistic. I think the pain is just going to keep moving around and I'll get a confirmation from a TMS doc on Friday.

Journaling is a bit cumbersome along with the reading, I've found that as well. There are things that keep popping up though, so I will keep digging.

Keep walking. I admire you for sticking with it!

Susan

 

Wow, I'm impressed. I've thought about joining a gym, but I admit I'm still too cautious (read, focused on what's "wrong").

I did have a funny insight into my latest flare up though. I've been alternating between walking around a sports oval, including short bursts of running, with walking from my house. I wasn't having too much increase in pain until I looked up and realized I had gone further on the neighbourhood walk than usual. I wasn't hurting much, then thought, "Oh, I hope I haven't overdone it," and voila, the whole sciatic thing tightened up. Later I looked on google maps and I had actually been going a longer distance on the oval, and running too, with no drama. Clearly it was the thought, not the distance. TMS strikes again.