Day 10 Avoiding happy emotions

Since I've been dealing with my sciatica pain (about 6 weeks now) and after discovering Dr Sarno and TMS I've been searching for all sorts of negative feelings that might be behind my TMS. They are there of course, but today I realised that one of my problems is not fully experiencing happy emotions. I've had such joy in my life, amazing things have happened to me and often I am like a spectator. Also, I realised today while journalling that I fear showing too much love to my kids. I don't want to love them too much for fear of being vulnerable, of maybe losing them. I lost both of my parents when young. I really want to try better. I have good relationships with my kids but I'm always fearful of letting them see how much I really love them. I know this is not right, maybe not even normal. I need to change that.

 

It's important, it seems to me, LauriK, to recognize that good things like success and love can be just as stressing to the psyche as bad things like death and taxes. Suddenly winning the Lotto can place as much pressure on you as a death in the family. Stress occurs when an organism has to adapt to some new stimulus, whether it's negative or positive. A corollary to the love you feel for your kids is the fear of loss. Every silver lining has a black cloud inside it? Of course, there's always some anxiety implicit in anticipating negative outcomes. That's why we often catastrophize about things that we fear are going to turn out badly in the future (a future that often never comes I might add). You just have to deal with your love for your children as it exists now in the present moment. Easier said that done I might add!