Day 8 Back and Forth

Dear TMS Community,

Now at day 8 of the program, I feel very conflicted. On the one hand, I am noticing progress - less pain, more energy, I am doing more activities - which is absolutely wonderful and it feels as the best progress I have made in over 2 years. On the other hand however, I 'should have' been a week or two further along in the program, I struggle enormously on some days to commit to doing the TMS exercises of the day and escape for a few days. I feel like the (emotional) pain that arises during these exercises is so new and big to me, that my brain is succeeding in deploying safety mechanism such as exhaustion, distraction etc. to prevent myself from engaging in these exercises. I'm now aware that on these days my brain is simply trying to protect me, however, I do feel guilty that I am not doing it consistently everyday. Which leads to frustration and more symptoms (ha brain, you're a tricky one!).

But, so far, we keep coming back.

Cheers,
Toad

 

Thank you @JanAtheCPA. It's reassuring to know that it is common for people to be experiencing this. I felt quite depressed for a few days as well recently, wasn't sure where it came from, but likely from the TMS process as well then! Absolutely crazy the extend the brain goes to 'protect' ourselves.

 

Hiya Toad,

If it's any help...I am now on Day 28 and I started mid January(you can do the math!). I have been and remain committed to the process....while allowing myself my own rhythm. Cuz it's a lot! As Jan said, after about a week some push back/intensifying of symptoms can show up. For me it was intensifying and changing symptoms(great sign!!) and full on anxiety spells. After the deep dive into emotions and past trauma, at about day 23, I was feeling overwhelmed and realized it was time for some self care and nurturing feelings of safety....and wouldn't ya know it, both the pain and anxiety have lessened a lot! Each and every day I engage in some way with TMS learning and processing; books, podcasts, journalling...it's a winding road for me. As Alan Gordon would say to that voice trying to make you feel not good enough/guilty..."How dare you?!"

Seems like you're doing just great...I second what Jan said "Practice kindness and patience for yourself, and hang in there! You've got this"!!

 

Hey Ahri,

Thank you for your endearing response, much appreciated! Very reassuring to hear about your journey and that you can indeed still be committed whilst going at your own pace.