Day 1 back to back

Hello there

I read Sarno's books a number of years ago. . . . 8 i think

I am 35 and have been with constant pain and discomfort since I turned 21.
This has all been centred around my lower back and legs
My personality jumps off the page of the Sarno books. People pleaser, really driven, my own hardest critic, smiling even when i feel like crying.
Seen everyone and tried everything to get this 'fixed' - you know how it goes…

The docs point to a largish bone 'deformation' i have in my spine. The L5 transverse process is v large and 'apparently'/'might' form a pseudo arthritic joint with my sacrum/illium. It's called bertolotti's syndrome

I have tried to remain active throughout - I focused on cycling and swimming and have kept fit through these on the whole.

A few years back (5?) I started dancing again (something i used to love), journaling, running etc. I started to feel much better. Always still cautious and never care free but just little by little more confident. Then, i think when we had children, i stopped focusing on my recovery and things began to slip.

In the last 2 years my symptoms have got bad and spread. My left knee - tendonitis which has kept me off my beloved bike. Thumb tendonitis - which has stopped me playing guitar which I recently took up and fell in love with.

So hear i am again. At the start. hopeful.

My concern is accepting, truly accepting, that TMS as opposed to this pseudo arthritic Bertolotti's syndrome

I'll keep you posted

 

Hi Bernard. Welcome (back) . Having kids is certainly time-consuming hard work filled with joyous moments. Not to say it isn't stressful on its own; my 23 year old still stresses me when I let him!

I have confidence you can get back to doing what you love--with some time you'll have that confidence too and it'll be a reality! Read the books again. Our brain needs this information to sink in and it takes time.

Best warm wishes,

Lori

 

Hi Benard. I just joined today and ran across your story. I've been through the same thing(s) for about 6 years or so. Lot's of doctors, tests and ongoing pain and fear. Read Dr. Sarno's book about 3 years ago and, although I fit the personality perfectly, it didn't sink in at that time. Now, a couple years later, I reread it, and his other two books, and am also giving it another go. I also have a wonky transverse process (Bertolotti's syndrome) on my right side from the my L5 to my illium. It was found almost by accident. Chiro and spine specialist didn't see it on MRI but it was discovered on another random X-ray. Just wanted you to know you're not the ONLY person with one of those! My main pains are on the opposite side of the process. I was having a whole slew of pains in the last few months (neck, shoulders, knees, hips, etc.) which propelled me to regroup on TMS as the cause. The other pains just didn't add up - no reason for them. And they seemed to move around! TMS makes sense and the other pains have retreated to a great degree in the past few weeks. My TMS seems to be regrouping in my lower back where it believes it can trick me the most! Believing our backs are fine, even with transverse processes, is our biggest challenge. It is not easy I know. Having something to point to. But, it appears at least 4% or more of the population has these kinds of anomalies. And our backs weren't always painful right? And we had the same processes then. So, just a bit of rational hope on the matter. Good luck to you, and me.

 

Matt,
I wish you well. Are you reading any books? One book that really helped me was Rapid Recovery of Back anc Neck Pain by Fred Amir.
His story and recovery are really encouraging.
G.R.

 

Welcome Bernard and Matt,
As you know from Sarno the pain moves around. Your mind knows you are starting an incredible journey. It is trying to distract you with the pain. You are in the right place. You can do this.

Role playing in private is invaluable. Think about the person who has hurt you the most. The person who has caused you great angush. Tell them from your heart how much they have hurt you. Hold nothing back.

 

SandyRae,
Role Playing is awesome advice; sounds like that would really get those feelings out.
G.R.

 

G.R., yes doing lots of reading but hadn't heard of the Fred Amir book. I'll check it out. I've read the main 3 Sarno books and The Presence Process.

And thanks for the words of encouragement SandyRae. Glad I found this site. Helps to know you're not alone with all this stuff.

Matt

 

Matt,
What is The Presence Process about? How did you find it helpful?
G.R.

 

G.R. -- "The Presence Process: A Healing Journey Into Present Moment Awareness" by Michael Brown.

http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/The_Presence_Process

I found it helpful in the sense that it pointed out so much of my thought was either in the past or future rather than the right now. I didn't partake in the lengthy meditative journey the book outlines in the 2nd half. Instead I read through the entirety - which is one of the suggestions. I might take another read and see if I'm ready to commit to the meditation and breathing exercises.

The book did make me think of how people feel so good when they do something that demands their attention. Say motorcycling or bicycling. Doing things where you have to be in the present moment with no spare thought space for the past or future. People's heads get cleared. They feel recharged. Perhaps it's because they were forced to spend time in the present due to the activity.

Matt

 

hello there
I did the PP 4 years ago and found it very good - it's a real commitment to do the 10 week program but one that i'd recommend as a commitment to yourself
It really helped me at the time to shift old patterns
i have slipped back into them but i'm keen to revisit the PP

 

Thanks for the encourgement Benard. I'd like to do the 10 weeks at some point. Did you include the water element on the back half? Wondering how that fit it.
Matt

 

Hi there
yes - i did it all
I was travelling in Venezuela at the time so struggled to find a bath but did manage somehow...!
I am going to do the PP again soon. it's really very good imo but i would suggest you go with it ad do the whole thing as described