Day 1 Back to the start

Hi all ,

so I have been a member hear for about 5 years and used the knowledge to help me with a range of problems that I believe is tms.

Over the years I have had periods of complete belief in the the tms system but seem to Struggle to be able to do all the programs properly I tend to skip bits and try to speed up the process by taking all the steps and jumping from day 1 all the way though the days and trying all the practices in one day .

Over the years I have cherry picked parts of the information available witin the wiki and used it to help in my recovery and at times even this has provided almost miracle cures that when I think back on them seem so distant and I have ebbed and flowed from almost completely periods of being in control , happy and pain free where I can take on the world to the next week having nothing but dred cuased by the pain of whatever symptom I am having , I have never noticed the structured education program before and have decided to give it a try and start doing all the steps as required Which has bought me to post this and not entirely sure what I should post and figured a introduction and explanation of my situation may help me to express and find the emotions and unearth them

So I have had a range of pain manifestations that always occur in times of stress and have been bought here again as I try to deal with a new symptom of pain that has once again brought my life to a standstill and dread

this time it’s stomach pain that convinced me I had a gallstones or liver problems I had a ultrasound as the pain was first a feeling under my right ribs like a griping wave sensation over a period of days looking back on the day of the pain starterd I was under extreme stress and in emotional state of fear, and frustration , so I managed to pay for a ultrasound convinced something would show up , had the scan and nothing everything seemed fine the person doing the ultrasound mentioned that the can’t see anything that looks out of the ordinary or cuase of concern relating to the pain I was feeling , however mentioned that the ultrasound does not show anything in my actual stomac as would need a ct scan or endoscopy to see that , as I was not experiencing any pain the actual area of the stomach I was not originally concerned , fast forward that night I get home feel better and then that night after eating I get terrible indigestion type pain and feel sick to my stomach I start thinking right this pain is in my stomach I might have stomach cancer or ulcer and have been having fluctuation of various stomach related issues Iv changed my diet and have times of no pain to waking up with tightness on a empty stomach and just feeling like fear as soon as I open my eyes


Even watching the short video in day one of this programme my Bain was skipping though parts not because I was not believe it but mainly because I have watched parts of the video before and felt so familiar however there was sections witin the video that bought up familiarities with my previous tms conditions that I was able to beat and

just watching the video of people on there knees at desk with back pain and laying down trying to work at the office bought back all the strong the emotions I was having many years ago as I went though and beat them some of the problems related to my tms at their time so that helped me realise today the power of emotions on Perceived pain in any part of the body .

then as small as it seems the section of the video showing a guy with his neck in a stretching device and a wedge pillow resonated with a pain I had only a week ago that I had completely forgot I had , as I was having issues for 3 days with neck /, sholder/arm pain at the tim I did not think this was tms as it was so severe and prominent I spent almost the entire time looking and searching how to get raid of the pain I was considering buying the same neck stretching device and wedge pillow and I stoped work for a few days where the pain was so bad whilst I searched for a way to heal the pain , and then I work up one day and it was gone I was relived and figured it was just a pulled muscle and I overreacted as I do and then thow myself back to work .

my work is extremely stressful and a lot of people rely on me even though I know how tms works though my years of experience it still seems to beat me as I forget and never fully teat it , if that is even possible , so to summarise things I am more hopeful and leased scared of my pain after the short video and exercise day 1 has bought as it has made me re frame how much work pressure has put on me to bring pain as a way to cope with the stress , I have trouble explaining it in detils and it is frustrating as I’m not the best speller and sometimes have to rephrase things to articulate what I mean and use speck to text .

I realise I’m rambling on but figure it may be a good exercise , if this is not the place to do so then my sincere apologies to all

I have been interrupted with a phone call that needs my attention and it cuased frustration that I can not have any time to soothe myself but in fact it may be a good thing that I just need to get on lol

anyway by for now hears to a long jorney

 

Thank you for sharing your story. You are realizing many important things which will serve you well in your recovery. You seem to understand that you need to commit to a daily TMS practice. That is the best way to get lasting results. Hang in there and keep trying.