Back to try again

Hi folks,

Well, I did "Day 1" about a month ago. I had real progress for about a week - my main "stuff" is mostly my right shoulder, and it's a constant thing. For that week, I only felt pain if I really overexerted myself/bent my arm unnaturally, or if I purposely thought about if my shoulder felt weird. So I'd say about 60% improvement in 1 week with hardly any practice, and not believing in TMS 100%.

Then, I had a chat with my husband and it was good and bad. It was so comforting because he talked about how concerned he was and although he was glad TMS was working for me, he wanted to be sure there wasn't a physiological foundation for the pain. Meaning, let's check if there's a simple fix for it, and let's be aware if there's a chance I could be making it worse without getting treatment. And then I shouldn't have, but I mentioned how TMS could help his disc pain. Oops. I didn't know the severity he has, and I won't go into it, but it ended up with him being upset that I accepted TMS, such a simple answer, without much digging into it, and he asked that I not try and diagnose him. He does have a structural problem. Fair's fair. I spoke too broadly.

He also mentioned, "why TMS?" As in, why don't I just accept that when I'm upset, I reflexively & subconsciously tense my shoulders - why put a label on it? So I understand that, and I think that for me, even if it's a crutch, having a name to call this thing by and better yet, having a community of people who are learning to beat this thing, is a huge encouragement for me. So I'll call it TMS and use this interface to get better.

The result of our conversation was that I should go ahead and get the MRI. Luckily I found a place that accepts cash for a fraction of what we'd pay through insurance.

Got the MRI done. Results: Infraspinatus tendinosis, mild to moderate; possible mild bursitis; but no tear in rotator cuff tendons. Tendinosis is exactly what my chiropractor suggested 4 months ago.

So it's definitely something, but is it TMS or something else (posture + computer job)? No definitive answer.

So what I've decided is, since I had such an amazing week "doing" TMS, I'm going to give myself 2 months with TMS.

I'm confident that I won't make my tendonosis worse with 2 months of TMS. It didn't feel worse after that week, just back to how it was. And tendinosis is reversible, from what little I've read about it, although I've definitely had it for 1-4 years - it just seems like most people have to discontinue what aggravates it (computer work and cooking/cleaning for me... which is my entire routine) and/or scar tissue breakup therapy like the Graston method, which my chiro did on me (great when I was practically immobilized by this thing, but would be too much now). I don't want to bother with either of those options any more, but I do want to beat it.

And since I was able to find such a (relatively) cheap MRI:
If TMS-understanding keeps helping my shoulder after 2 months, I'll keep extending it, and then I will be willing to get an MRI to verify I haven't done more damage, in about 1 year.

My husband thinks this is just pain I'll have to manage and distract myself from for the rest of my life. I'm going to find a way around that.

So, I finally came back here and I did Day 2. I loved the video today. It reminds me of the peace and confidence I felt when I first heard of TMS. So I'll give it another try.

Thanks, everybody, for just being here