Day 1 Becoming hopeful

Hello all.

A friend recommended Dr. Sarno's writings to me for mitigating hand/wrist/arm pain that I've had from keyboard usage for about seven years now. I picked up an e-book version of The Divided Mind, and I'm about halfway through it.

I would describe myself as requiring concrete evidence and sound arguments in order for me to adopt any beliefs, generally. Classifying myself as a TMS sufferer has posed some difficulties because of the way the theory is presented (i.e. the Freudian basis given at length in Divided Mind) -- but I do believe the testimonies I've heard, and the idea of psychosomatic pain makes sense to me, and I believe I fit the personality profile pretty closely.

So, I'm not at 100% but I'm hopeful, and that hasn't happened since the injury first appeared. My thoughts at this point are that I have difficulty seeing how repression would play into things, but I've done some mental probing and suspect I may run into interesting things before long. Excited to try the journaling exercises.

I figure if I am unable to unearth anything, though, just the idea of returning to regular keyboard use instead of only gingerly interacting with computers in a state of persistent caution/watchfulness -- is very refreshing to me. I do have some fears that if I do this I will make my injury worse, but I'm telling myself to wait until that happens rather than assuming...

Thanks for reading!

 

Welcome, Weston!

As you go through the program you will begin feeling better, and that will move you closer to believing 100%. Don't worry if you're not all the way there now; you will be.

 

Weston: I don't want to say Welcome bc like me pain has brought you here and I am sorry for that. I did teeter with the 100% thing too, but when things did not add up, I listened to me, quietly, without all the influences and without fear. I know I am right. Take your time, the journey is all yours....

 

Thank you for the welcome.

That was an interesting video, has got me thinking of some questions I'd like to ask myself along the lines of personal 'authenticity' in the sense that he uses it.

 

Sounds terrible to say but I have never been authentic. During my childhood healthy or unhealthy anger was never expressed by anyone. Not even an opinion that would disappoint someone was allowed. As I went through my career I had to express differences of opinion but that usually resulted in pain and depression because I would "see" disappointment in others.

But now I know and am working on all this. I am getting much healthier emotionally and physically thanks to Dr. Sarno and the TMSwiki.

Welcome Weston and Deb

 

Hi Sandy. This is one thing, among others, that I'd previously just assumed was how all people are. I remember when I was a teenager thinking about how I seemed to be a different person at work versus at home versus at school. My rationale for it was that I'd kind of established who I was going to be through the first impressions I gave in whichever social setting. After that, the people in the social setting had some expectation of how I would behave, and something in my brain didn't want to contradict their expectation. So in one group I would be thought of as a funny person, but in another I'd be thought of as quiet, etc. But I always thought this was just how everyone behaved. Maybe it has an impact on everyone to a certain extent, but it affects some of us more than others.

I also never get angry. Once in a long while I will get frustrated with someone and I'll feel a temptation to express my frustration (e.g. while teaching), but even then I mostly contain it (which, in the case of teaching anyway, is probably best since my obligation to the student is real here).

 

I always have rationale for not expressing healthy emotion or anger. Do you think that someone who is comfortabe expressing healthy anger has rationale for not doing it or do they just do it? I wonder.