Been a while

Trying not to feel disheartened. Been doing this work a while now and sadly have not made any progress in my symptoms. Makes one worry it isn't TMS after all. Infact if anything they are ramping up.
I have followed through a few structured programmes now and I am currently partaking in therapy.
I have learnt a lot about myself through introspection.
How throughout life I were bullied and then taken fir granted and taken advantage of later on. Finding myself in situations I dint want to be in and having to work harder to prove myself and people please to be liked. A long with neglecting my own needs or wants due to some left over guilt.
I thought un earthing these things would have seen some improvement but alas one is still in the same position.
With no improvement it's hard not to think one has maybe got this wrong.

Guess looking for some encouragement or insights

 

Hi, @CalmIsTheCure ,
I think for some of us it really does take a while and it’s discouraging when you hear of people getting better much faster. You think something is wrong and it’s not working. But it is working! Sometimes it’s not evident for a while. For this round of TMS, I’ve been at it for four years. The first six months I did a lot of Sarno work, And nothing happened. Then I did three hard years of psychotherapy— And I actually got worse because I was under a lot of stress from it. But I do believe the insight and healing was very important for me. (Although at the time it didn’t necessarily feel like healing!) Then, the past year, I’ve been on this forum. I’ve done two classes, read about 10 books, listened to countless podcasts, journaled my guts out, talked to people on the forum every day—-And only recently just started seeing some changes. I’m not saying I’m a typical case, but I know that my brain very stubbornly wants to keep things status quo. I think of my TMS brain as a lizard, since its origin comes from primitive times. So it’s me and the lizard duking it out. And I figure, if I don’t give in, one of these days the lizard will have to quit. So you’re doing everything right! Keep fighting! Believe me one day it will work for both of us.

I just wrote two posts today about my progress— in case they might be of help to you, I’ll put the links here:

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/my-1-year-anniversary-on-this-forum-what-i%E2%80%99ve-learned-and-what-has-changed.29389/ (My 1 year anniversary on this forum: what I’ve learned and what has changed)

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/from-16-symptoms-to-8-in-one-year.29390/ (From 16 symptoms to 8 in one year)

 

Thsnk you so much all that is wonderful.
It would be so lovely is a TMS doctor could give me the rubber stamp of approval. I feel that would make me feel safe. Alas it's impossible to get one unless you are super rich

 

I haven't seen a lot of people around with the same doubt that I have so it's hard. I wish I could logically get rid of the last remainder of doubt but I csnt seem to.

 

I don’t think you ever really get rid of all the doubt until you start to get better. But I don’t think you get better until you go forward with your doubt anyway. You just have to put faith in the process,.

 

I personally think that having some doubts here and then is quite normal when in pain for a longer time. It is definitely nothing you should use to blame yourself or catastrophizing about never getting better. Do not put yourself under too much pressure that you cannot get better unless you eradicate the last bit of doubt. This is counterproductive as it feeds the fear cycle. I believe we can better while still having some doubts. It is important though that the doubts are not dominating your thoughts & feelings & beliefs. Accept the thoughts of doubts once they come up and let them pass.

 

I am currently in therapy with a tms therapist. She hasn't started on the nitty gritty yet. Only once she feels like I can calm myself down. Frustrating. Would like to get down to it.
Yes I find myself wanting to cry a lot. I do appear to be stuck in the victim mindset. I guess I have for a while. Not just with this. Feeling like a victim.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to feel empowered? How to feel excited by the idea of TMS rather than feeling like it's hopeless?

I'm all ears.

I think I've had so many things go wrong I do tend towards feeling like a victim. I'm just confused on how I get empowered. Now my therapist is away for a few weeks. Would love if people had some ideas rhat have worked for them

 

@CalmIsTheCure
I’m going on year 3 of my TMS journey, and the last few months I have made huge strides. Patience, perseverance and an open mind have been the things to get me here. It was truly when I stopped being frustrated and keeping track of how long it “might” take that the biggest strides were made.

Your TMS coach is exactly right, you need to find ways to calm your nervous system before you can "get down to it". This is exactly what stalled me. At first it was victim mode but that stopped the moment I read what Dr. Handscom wrote about how that is part of what mires you down. Every time I recognized it, I turned my mind away from those thoughts. I told my TMS coach what was going on (and also my PT because I do work with a PT) they both brought it up right away and told me to accept that was what I was doing. It became much easier to catch. Heck, I still do it on occasion! You need to remember that this mindset is simply habit, and it takes you rooting it out and absolutely not accepting it. What you need to accept is that you are worth this work. Your human-ness makes you intrinsically valuable to society and that the world would not be the same place without you.
Feeling "hopeless" with the idea of TMS is most often the fear of responsibility to yourself to "fix" what is "wrong". Once again, anytime you think about how "long" it will take or how "right" you must do things, you immediately say no to yourself and think of something else. That's a useless road to follow. Claire Weekes is super helpful for reminding us that thoughts are thoughts and not truths. If you have not yet read Claire Weekes, then you must.
Working with a TMS therapist is well and good, but they aren't going to "fix" you and you need to root out those kinds of hopes and recognize that they will guide you through methods that will help you help yourself. They are there to teach you how to be your own cheerleader.
"So many things go wrong" - victim mentality.
So how does this change?
1) commit to yourself. You need to take a pledge to yourself that you are going to be in your corner. That it will take time, but you are going to make the changes you want in your life, over time.
2) That you will take responsibility for your own wellness. Both of the first two things are promises to you. No backing out. Journal a bit about how it feels to take this responsibility. How you felt when you could blame the universe or others for your pain and dysfunction and what it means to you to decide to be in control from this point on.
3) Evidence sheets or lists - they can be of ANYTHING at all. Here's one: how I felt before meditation and how I felt after 1/2 hr of meditation not what you think of it, not what you think about it but what you FEEL in yourself. Eg. Before meditation I felt tight, anxious, worried about doing it right which made my ears buzz after meditation I feel like my eyes are lighter, my hands are warm, my feet tingle - if meditation isn't your thing, try some qi gong or gentle tai chi. I'm going to start posting some resources for those on my bio page.
4) you asked "Would Love if people had some ideas that have worked for them". Read this forum. Read the posts. There are THOUSANDS of posts with people saying what worked for them. Read a few each day, read some success stories.
5) stop every thought that you won't succeed. Ignore some of the folks here who say you should be able to do this in a few weeks, or a few months or should have a book cure - those things are sure fire ways to fuel the self-pressure.
6) force yourself to do things you used to enjoy doing. Force yourself to read a really great fiction book, or play chess, or sew, or knit, or spend time with your pet, making tea and sitting quietly in the sun...whatever it is, do it. Start recognizing that if this has been really hard, then 30 seconds doing it is a win. Three minutes is a win, 5 minutes is a win. Whatever it is, you are doing the thing that you haven't been doing so it's a win. You will learn to enjoy these things again.

 

This really hits home to me.

 

I have just started learning an instrument to busy my mind on something else. And although it hurts to sit snd do it I do it anyway.
I'm worried there's something blocking me from being happy. Something that inside me either thinks we can't be happy or that we shouldn't be. I'm not sure.
But yes I dislike being in the victim mindset. I've been bullied a lot and so being in a victim mindset is kinda my mindset.
But I know I'm worth it. Yes pressure on yourself is awful. I just feel like my beat years are being stolen from me.
How funny as I typed that my head started to tingle. That was weird haha.
I know things won't shift until I start to change the story and I am trying.

I've started learning an instrument.
I've started going out with friends.
I've started walking to uo beat music and walking to the beat. Music with positive messages behind it.
Also visualising what I want my life to look like.

Just discouraged of not seeing any changes. I kind of jist wish what my brain is communicating to me. I still have fear. I still get thoughts like gosh this is taking a long time. Your life is wasting away. You need to go to the hospital there's something wrong your missing. And I'm trying to not buy into these thoughts. This would be easier if the fear wasn't there I guess.
Anyway just rambling

 

Worries are not reality. They are thoughts. Thoughts are not truths.

Do the work.

Your message above is feeding into everything I posted above that is fueling symptoms. I gave great instructions on how to do the work and conquer these types of thoughts. You need to do it. Over and over. It took me 2 years to really master squelching these thoughts.
Open your mind past the bullying - there are no excuses. Watch for when you make excuses. I used to get bullied and beaten at school. Balance that with a sister who disliked me because she thought I was pretty, spoiled, sweet, and bad. I got beaten for being ugly, too kind, shy and quiet. Mixed messages galore. The worked has helped me see how that all shaped me to be the person I like today. You have to get over those old resentments.
You are beginning to do some of the things, but resisting the really hard stuff. You can do this.

 

I'm just opening up and being truthful to where I am. I know now that being the victim although fair for what I experienced in the past is not going to serve me in the future. And although I feel victim to the sensations they are actually trying to stop me from being a victim and step into the best version of myself. It doesn't want me to keep living as a victim. It wants me to realise I'm worth more. It's just a backwards way if going about things I suppose.
I know that it's my limiting beliefs. The problem I seem to have is knowing how to change the script as it were.
Especially when for some reason I always feel like crying.
Anyway...... we keep on keeping on

 

This is great! You’re doing good! Maybe instead of thinking your life is getting wasted… think that it’s getting recalibrated to be better than it ever could have been without your TMS growth.

Are you going to do the Structured Educational Program, here on the wiki? I think it would help you! I just started it. It’s something to put your hopes in. Keep plowing forward. The fear dies whenever you fight. Doing the SEP is fighting.

 

I have done the sep before.
I just journal from time to time now if I come across something I think could be of importance.
I also think a lot of my problem is getting frustrated snd imaging a future where this is it. It not getting better.
I need to reprogramme my mind to expect better

 

Do the SEP again. I did it twice, the first time I did it with my head, not my heart.

 

I absoloutly agree it's my old patterns that are holding me back.
I've been asking people for a while how on earth you change these patterns but I guess it is just awareness and then not do the same behaviour you would normally do.
My brain is very well worn into the negative. Makes me sad actually.
It's funny the other day I was telling someone else I'm a yes but person hahahaha. So I have become aware of it. I still need to work on it

 

Get this book: Feeling Good, by David Burns. It’s life-changing.