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Beginning my Journey

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by 505in702, Jan 23, 2021.

  1. 505in702

    505in702 Newcomer

    Hi, everyone. Today is Week 1 Day 1. I’ve put a lot of info in my “about me” as to my symptoms and such. I have unexplainable head rushes that feel like I’m being choked. I have tried absolutely everything but nobody knows what’s wrong with me. That’s my biggest symptom that has brought me here because it’s absolutely unbearable and I really can’t live like this anymore. These particular symptoms began about a year ago which coincides with moving to another state and starting a new job in a very very difficult issue (child sexual abuse). From there things only got worse. My entire marriage I have carried so much of the load but when we became parents I have carried 80-90% of parenting and domestic responsibilities while also working full time while my husband completely took advantage of me and simply lived his own life and went to work every day and contributed absolutely nothing to our marriage or family. This all came to a head about 4 months after my symptoms began when I found out he was having an affair with a co-worker. I’m still not fully sure that I’m staying in my marriage; I’m angry and hurt and just totally pissed that I have let his lack of partnership or “give a shit” for anyone but himself impact my health so heavily.

    Today my symptoms are present but somewhat mild. My anxiety is through the roof; depression is ok. I’m tired but hopeful.
     
    505in702, Jan 23, 2021
    #1
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Welcome to the forum, @505in702 - it really does sound like you landed in the right place. I have weird neuro symptoms myself - and have had them for years, now - it was actually the dizziness and vestibular unsteadiness and brain fog and head rushes that really started freaking me out back in 2011 - but "they couldn't find anything wrong".

    Here's a great discussion and reference to a pretty definitive article on all of the "head" symptoms that go along with what we call TMS - also PPD - Psycho-Physiological Disorder, or, in this post, Psycho-Physiological Dizziness (where the term "dizziness" refers to a lot more than just vertigo):
    Psycho-Physiological Dizziness Syndrome (PPDS) | TMS Forum (The Mindbody Syndrome) (tmswiki.org)

    Also, be assured that anxiety often replaces physical symptoms when you start dong this work. Just remember - this is your brain on TMS - doing whatever it can to keep you in fear.

    Hang in there, and keep us posted

    ~Jan
     
    JanAtheCPA, Jan 26, 2021
    #2
  3. Hedger

    Hedger Well known member

    Wow, we share 50/50 on both child and domestic and still it´s sooo difficult and frustrating balancing family needs. I can only imagine the repressed/suppressed rage you must have regarding this unfair dividend of responsibilities. And then he has an affair?! Sorry for the bluntness, but what an asshole...

    I was being taken advantage regarding domestic responsibility, work etc (no child), by my previous girlfriend and during that time my symptoms were at a peak. She was very egoistic. I´m still very angry with her even though we haven't spoken in years.

    Good luck and keep us posted!
     
    Hedger, Jan 27, 2021
    #3

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