Day 1 Beginning the program

Hi everyone! I finished "Healing Back Pain" yesterday and was so encouraged by how my pain felt lessened while I was reading it, but I know it's just the beginning because it started to creep back a few hours after putting the book down. I've had back pain since I was a teenager (around when my parents divorced and when I started becoming incredibly anxious about dating and sexuality), nervous stomach for several years during college - which is now not present but has been replaced by an amping up of the back pain, reaching for my neck and jaw, plus a spell of tendinitis in my right foot. While for most of my life this has been a nuisance, with flare-ups around finals or during stressful times at a job, in the past year I've had a lot of emotionally distressing and stressful experiences (both positive and negative stress) and my pain has gotten so severe that I start to fear not being able to keep my head up, not being able to continue in my career, and being bedridden... although I don't think I've missed a single day of work due to the pain! I also had a period of a couple of weeks where I was getting weakness and numbness in my right hand, so that really contributed to feelings of declining health.

Like many others here, I've gotten CT and MRI scans (I have degenerative cervical discs), seen two orthopedic specialists, one who recommended yoga, the other who recommended surgery, spinal injections, chiropractor adjustments, countless sessions of PT, a dozen or so massages, weight-training program to increase abdominal and back strength, soft neck collar, heating pads, ice packs, antinflammatory medication, muscle relaxers, meditation... some have given me temporary relief but I'm tired of obsessing over my pain and thinking of myself as a disabled person, even though to the outside world I look healthy and productive. I am feeling mostly convinced about the TMS diagnosis, especially since my personality type aligns so well (perfectionist, far more critical of myself than others are, fearful of the expression of anger, very anxious). I know I just need to keep learning and reflecting on the diagnosis, rather than letting my feelings of fatalism (I'll never be a pain-free person) run my life.

 

Thank you for sharing, Jan - reading yours and others' stories really inspires hope and makes me feel like being pain-free could be a reality soon!

 

I am new here too and so much nerve pain and suffering. How is it going for you?