Big Life Changes

Hey TMScommunity,

I haven't posted on here in a while. I guess I was always trying to be tougher then my pain. In the last couple of month I've learned a lot about myself, my abilities and who I truly am. I haven't really shared my story at all. My TMS pain(back pain that moves around) began last year in the spring. I had a very stressful spring semester at school. I thought coming from a University Education to College would be easy. It was up until this point. In the summer my pain got so bad I had to eventually quit my job. I sat around trying to heal, what good that did for my situation.I had thoughts of becoming like my mother. How could my life go on if I had a bad back life her. I thought I would just have to lay down the rest of my life. School started up again, I continued to go regardless of my "situation". After the stressful midterms I had I was in a low. Depressed in a lot of pain and had a spiral of thoughts. I felt alone and even my girlfriend at the time didn't seem to support me. I found TMS shortly after that and have had the great support of this community ever since. We broke up, I guess that was mean't to happen because if she wouldn't stay with me through that, then its probably for the better.



Slowly, and I mean slowly I started to get better. I think conquering the fear is one of the biggest parts of TMS. In january I got a gym membership again. What a great feeling that is. I continued going to school and the gym. I went on a trip to see my sister in Montreal. This was a great accomplishment for me. I recently in the spring completed my final semester at the community college. Some days were worse then others, but I made it and I know I wouldn't have been able to accomplish half as much without this community. Recently did a road trip up to montreal 12 hrs in a car who woulda thought. Then I just had my first day of my work term today. Although I am a fighter and it has been quite the fight, tms is no longer as much of a challenge. It is not this big obstacle that I once made it up to be. If it is the life I will have then so be it. I may need to have a less stressful job with maybe less hours in order to obtain the proper balance i need. I think being born into this middle to upper class society I have been driven to succeed. Always needing more. I think my TMS is a sign that if I stayed on path I may never have been happy. So worried about not being able to work 40 hr weeks absolutely. But if I sit around and worry about that, I will miss how beautiful the summer is.

So in closing, pain free I am not. Better I am.

 

hi Josh! Glad you are better!

Finding balance for our stressors is important--doing things we enjoy to balance the stresses of life.

Hope you enjoy the spring and summer!